


Love Is Found In Peas

by GreenEyedSinisterPants



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Best Friends, Café, Coffee Shops, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Heterochromia, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love, Love is in the little things, Not really a case-fic but follows alongside show, Will contain smut when appropriate, Will tag more as I go, criminal minds - Freeform, i need more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 43,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenEyedSinisterPants/pseuds/GreenEyedSinisterPants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.</p>
<p>Girl meets boy.<br/>Boy meets girl.<br/>Girl doesn't speak much.<br/>Boy falls a lot.<br/>Boy has a REALLY stressful life.<br/>Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.</p>
<p>"There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It took a crash and sputter of broken apologies followed by more crashes and fumbles to distract me from my book long enough to look up and take the scene in before me. Once I had assessed the situation I dropped my attention back to my book and flipped the page as I finished it. Without breaking my concentration, my eyes never leaving the sentence I was reading, I reached for my coffee and brought it to my lips.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Mmm,” I replied, not bothering to look at the speaker as I could tell who it was from the earlier scuffle in the coffee shop.

“I uh, uhmm, was that an affirmative or a dissenting answer?” the voice asked nervously.

“You can sit,” I replied without looking up, once again turning my page before grabbing for my coffee.

Part of my brain was listening with half an ear so to speak and heard the stranger scuffle about before sitting. Which didn’t last long as he jumped up from sitting on his bag as he had placed it on the chair before placing his coffee down first. I hadn’t actually seen him do it but I had heard him move about and from everything I had gathered when I spotted him earlier were to be true than I had calculated it correctly. Sighing I pulled the napkin that had come with my pastry out from under my plate.

“Shit!” the stranger swore under his breath as he knocked over his coffee which was luckily in a to go cup. Why he was sitting with a to go cup instead of a real mug was something I hadn’t pinpointed yet but still held out the napkin regardless.

“Thanks,” the stranger replied to my nonverbal offer as he took the napkin from me before presumably going up for a new coffee.

“Mmm,” I said in response even though he had to have been up to the counter by the time I replied. Turning another page I reached for my coffee again. It was one of my favorite books and I was getting to a really good part. And while I could have probably recited the entire thing almost word for word it didn’t mean that I didn’t want to enjoy it fully, which having a coffee shop neighbor was going to ruin.

“I’m so sorry for that. Sometimes I can’t control my body or my actions. I blame it on the fact that my limbs are long and angled, statistically most people grow along with their bodies. It’s my belief that my body decided it had it’s own ideas. I also haven’t had any coffee this morning so that could be it as well,” my coffee shop neighbor rambled off once he came back to his seat.

“Mmm,” I replied as I turned another page.

“What does it take for you to look up from your book?” the stranger asked as I heard him sip from his coffee.

“Hmm, a lot,” I replied as I turned another page without even looking up at him.

“How are you able to stay aware of your surroundings that way?” my stranger, as I had started to refer to him as such in my head, asked with a smile in his voice.

“I’m perfectly aware of my surroundings. You came in today and while giving up your place in line to the older woman across the room in the purple dress, Mrs. Carringer is her name, you tripped over your feet. Trying to catch yourself you knocked into one of the girls carrying coffee, her name is Katie by the way, causing her to lose control of her tray and drop the coffees she was carrying all over the floor. You apologized profusely as you tried to help her out but your bookbag fell forward making it impossible for you to help. The same bookbag you placed in your chair before putting down your coffee which you then sat on which caused you to leap to your feet and knock over your first coffee. Hence the napkin I offered,” I answered without looking up, turning my page as my book got exciting.

“But you held that napkin out before I spilled my coffee,” my stranger stated in awe as he sipped from his second coffee.

“It’s true, but judging from your earlier accidents and the fact that you put your bag in your seat absentmindedly there was really only a few outcomes possible,” I replied, barely bringing my voice above a monotone.

“How were you able to figure all that out?” my stranger asked as he leaned back in his chair.

“The same way I was able to figure out that you’re roughly six foot one, somewhere around one hundred and fifty pounds. You’re incredibly intelligent yet somewhat physically awkward in regular situations. You’re right handed and like more sugar in your coffee than actual caffeine. You tuck your long hair behind your ears when you’re nervous, something you haven’t done while I’ve been talking but more than likely will do when I stop. You hide a large part of who you are for fear of standing out and being looked down upon for it. You’re an FBI agent despite your youth, and your eyes are hazel,” I listed off, turning multiple pages during my speech. Without looking up I could hear my stranger swallow before starting to tuck his hair behind his ear before catching himself and sitting on that hand.

“How could you figure all that out?” my stranger asked after he steadied his voice by sipping his coffee.

“I’m hyper aware of my surroundings? I also saw you standing in line with regulars I see here every day so I was able to gauge your height and then your weight based off of your frame. There are ink and lead stains on the edges of your hands and fingers and your shoulder bag is filled to it’s capacity. Physically awkward in regular or social situations as made obvious by your three earlier mishaps but you move with an inert grace that points towards fluid grace in other, or work, situations. Most of the smudges are on your right hand but there is sugar spill on your left cuff, showing you used your right hand to add it to your coffee while holding your cup with your left. You also have sugar in your left pant cuff, which points towards an over excessive use of sugar. I witnessed you tucking your hair multiple times during the line scuffle, it curls perfectly around your ear and since your nails aren’t destroyed from biting it only goes to show that you tuck your hair when nervous. FBI agent was easy, when you jumped up out of your chair I saw your badge on your belt and there was an FBI file in your shoulder bag. The part about hiding who you are was a bit of a stretch based off of how you’re dressed, I saw your mismatched socks peeking out from under your pant legs. Cute by the way,” I answered with another two page turns and a sip from my quickly diminishing coffee.

“How did you know my eye color?” my stranger asked, I could hear him fighting to keep his left hand under his leg so as to avoid tucking his hair behind his ear when he spoke to me.

“The colors you’re wearing. When someone tries to make sure they look a certain way, to be perceived a certain way, they tend to dress in their so called colors. The colors you’re wearing match the complexion of someone with pale skin, brown hair and hazel eyes. I also peeked, so I guess I’m not the all powerful wizard of Oz,” I replied nonchalantly from behind my book.

“That’s…” my stranger started to reply but was cut off by a loud ringing coming from his belt.

“You might want to get that,” I offered after the second ring started to turn into a third. Fumbling with his coffee and the fact that he was sitting on one of his hands my stranger finally got to his cell phone.

“Reid,” my now named stranger answered with a flip of his phone.

So as not to be any ruder than I already was I tuned out his conversation by solely focusing on my book. I had missed one of the most intense parts of my book due to this little interaction but another was coming up in two pages.

“I, I uh have to go to work,” my coffee neighbor, no longer stranger, Reid offered as he stood up and slid on his shoulder bag.

“I gathered as much,” I replied flatly as I finally turned the page onto the next exciting part.

“It was nice, to ah, talk to you,” Reid stumbled as he started to leave the confines of the personal space we had been sharing in the corner of the coffee shop where I always sat.

“Mmm,” I replied without looking up as he made his way to the bell chiming entrance to the small coffee shop. When I figured he would be at the door with his back to me I looked up from book and watched him, I found myself cracking a small smile as he tucked his hair behind his ear as he apologized once again to the waitress he had run into before walking out the door.

“Mr. Reid, Mr. Reid. Hmm,” I pondered as I went back to my book.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“Good morning Mr. Reid,” I offered without looking up from my book.

“Good morning,” Reid offered in return as he sat down in what I had come to think of as his chair.

Reid had been coming to the coffee shop every day since we had first talked, sitting in the chair directly across from me, one leg crossed up and over the other. He’d bounce his foot to some internal rhythm as he flipped either through FBI file folders or a book, his wildly outrageous mismatched socks out in the open with his pant leg pulled back from sitting cross legged. Watching him read was astounding, it was like watching a machine. Part of me did feel a little in awe but the other part of me felt bad for him. How he was able to capture the beauty, intensity and emotion of a book when he read so blindingly fast was beyond me. No one on this earth could possibly take in everything a book had to offer when read that fast. But regardless, it was amusing. Our coffee morning rituals were not very long, about the length of time it took Reid to drink a large coffee and scan a stack of files or read half a book as thick as my arm. But in the two weeks of almost perfect attendance, there were two days he missed in a row while away on a case to which I didn’t ask the details, I had gathered a lot of information on him. Oh we hadn’t talked much, or rather I didn’t, but I had been able to gather a lot of information about him from just being next to him and listening to him talk continuously when he got around to it.

“I brought something for you,” Reid offered as I listened to him rummage around in his bulging shoulder bag as he sat down with his large coffee to go with five sugars.

“Mmm?” I asked, still not looking up from my newest book.

“Here,” Reid said as he held out something towards me. The distance between us wasn’t that big, our feet would have touched had I sat similar to him. So as such I didn’t have to reach out far to grab the item. As our hands touched over the heavy object I felt his fingers twitch ever so slightly, it was the first physical contact we had had in two weeks, it gave me an even bigger insight into who Reid was.

Without putting my book down or taking my eyes off the page I was reading I placed the package in my lap and used my right hand to open up the newspaper wrapping. I cracked a partial smile when I saw it was the funnies as I tore it off. My hand stopped unwrapping when I saw what it was. It was a book, but not just any book. It was “The Canterbury Tales” by Geoffrey Chaucer, my favorite book. A copy of which I carried with me everywhere I went, it was currently stashed in my own shoulder bag on the floor beside my chair. I ran my fingers over the incredibly old book sitting in my lap, it was hardcover and the cover was faded from age. Slowly with uncertain, yet certain, fingers I lifted the cover and flipped to the first page. There sitting in small fine print was what I had been looking for.

“Reid this is a first addition! How, where did you find this? How did you _afford_ this?” I blurted as I looked up from my book for the first time and stared at Reid in shock. I watched his eyes grow slightly larger before sense got knocked back into me and I looked back down at both books currently in my possession.

“Your…” I heard Reid start to say and I felt my shoulders drop ever so slightly as I rolled my eyes under my eyelashes. I held my breath as Reid stopped and didn’t continue his sentence, instead he cleared his throat awkwardly before starting again.

“I uh, I noticed that you always carried a copy of it in your bag even though I always see you reading a different book. The copy in your bag is very uh, well it’s very well read. The spine is cracked from intense rereading, the pages and cover are yellowed, soft and worn. A large quantity of the pages have been dog eared, I gathered it was your favorite book. I have plenty of ones that look just like it at home. And as, as for how I came upon that copy… Well it happens to be one of my favorites as well, so I happened to uh, to have two copies on hand and I thought you would like one,” Reid sputtered quickly, nervously tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Well I would have to say that you really are an amazing Profiler Mr. Reid. Though with a mind like yours I don’t know how you missed my eyes,” I offered with a half smile as I looked up and locked eyes with Reid.

“It’s just that, that um statistically less than one percent of people alive have Heterochromia, so the odds of me ever meeting someone with the condition is incredibly low. And, and well you’ve never really looked at me since we’ve met. I’ve never had the chance to see your eyes, your face, until now. You told me the first day that it would take a lot to to get you to look up from your book. I, I figured this qualified as _a lot_ ,” Reid offered softly with a smile as he looked at me through his own long lashes. I couldn’t help but smile at him a bit, I didn’t think he would lie to me, about his reaction to my eyes or anything really for that matter.

“People react in varying ways when they see my eyes. Some people think it’s cool, a lot of them look the other way, anywhere but my eyes,” I offered with a shrug of my shoulders as I leaned back fully into my comfy chair, not looking back down to my book.

“Have you ever considered contacts, to make your eyes the same color?” Reid asked as he too sat back in his chair, his hands loose on his lap not twitching to tuck his hair.

“I thought about it once, but I find contacts not so much uncomfortable but more so tedious. And I learned a long time ago to like who I am, all of me included,” I offered with a shrug.

“Then why do you hide your eyes, never looking up at people?” Reid asked as he reached for his mug.

“It’s to spare other people in a sense. And largely because I’m incredibly rude I guess, I prefer my books to people,” I replied with a shrug.

“But speaking as a Profiler you don’t come off as antisocial. You don’t seek out interaction with people sure, but you put yourself out in public, in social settings. You allowed me to sit with you, you didn’t say it was taken. That proves that you don’t shy from social interactions, you don’t shun human contact. Rude, well that may not be the best name for it. There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people. But I wouldn’t call it rude necessarily,” Reid listed off in what I had come to call his _work_ voice.

“Very good Mr. Reid, very good,” I offered with my usual half smile.

“Ac-actually it’s Doctor Reid, not mister,” Reid stuttered as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

“Doctor is it? How is..” I started to ask but was cut off by Reid’s phone ringing. Saved by the bell it seemed. As Reid answered his phone I opened up my new first edition of Chaucer and ran my fingers over the first page, I could smell the history of the book coming off it’s pages.

“Hey, um, I’ve got to go into work,” Reid offered as started packing up his belongings.

“No problem, duty calls,” I replied as I picked up the book I had been reading before and stuck it in my bag. I had a first edition of my favorite book sitting in my lap, no science fiction novel was going to cut it. I opened the book again and leafed over to the first page, smiling just a little at the familiar words on the not so familiar page.

“I, I’m glad you like it,” Reid said as he stood beside his chair to leave, bringing me out of my reverie.

“Oh of course I like it! I never imagined to ever own a first edition of any book, let alone this one. I’d really like to thank you somehow and buying your coffee for the rest of forever doesn’t really seem like enough,” I said as I closed the book and looked up at Reid.

“No, it’s okay. It’s, it’s not like I bought it or anything. I already had it at home just sitting on my bookshelf,” Reid answered nervously.

“Come on Reid, a first edition of Chaucer is pretty significant. Sitting and collecting dust or not. Let me do something for you in return,” I pleaded, opening my eyes just a little bit to play the puppy dog angle.

“I, uh, I uhm, I have some vacation coming up starting today. I need to go into work to finish some paperwork and then I’m flying out to Vegas to see my family but I should be back long before my vacation is over. If, if that works for you, maybe we could do something, something then,” Reid stuttered as he looked down at his feet.

“Why Doctor Reid, are you asking me out?” I chuckled as I watched him fidget and shuffle his feet.

“No, wait! You, _you_ said you wanted to thank me for the book even though I said you didn’t have to! I, I, I…” Reid sputtered about miserably as he grasped for the right words. It was so sad that I had to put him out of his misery.

“I was only _joking_ Reid, I was joking! I’m sorry! When you’re back just, just come find me, you know where I’ll be. We’ll figure it out from there,” I offered, my hands up so he’d see I was only joking.

“Oh, oh okay. Then sure, I’ll, I’ll come here when I get back,” Reid replied with a nervous smile as he finally looked up and met my eyes. I let the corner of my mouth come up in a half smile when he looked at me. Reid smiled at me slightly, as if nervous to really smile at me, before he turned to leave the coffee house. Instinctively I reached out, before he got out of range, and grabbed a hold of his thin wrist. Wrapping my warm fingers around his cool flesh a part of my brain wondered if he was ever warm to the touch.

“Hey, Reid,” I spoke as he stood stock still, freezing immediately at the touch of my fingers and not at my voice.

“I really am sorry, I was only joking,” I pleaded with my words and tone of voice. With an answering nod and partially smile from him I let go of Reid’s wrist and watched him walk out of the cafe. Once he exited I pulled my new book up to my face and began reading but not without catching Reid looking over his shoulder at me through the cafe window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a slow post, more than likely once a week after these first few initial chapters.  
> I will post once a week alongside my other stories and things like you know work and having a life that involves video games. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

It was six days later when I heard the door chime open to the coffee shop and the sound of familiar feet walk towards me. But there was something in the way his feet shuffled across the floor that was different. It wasn’t like he didn’t shuffle normally, today his feet just sounded heavy. Not a nervous kind of heavy but a sad and distracted kind of heavy, and after spending this many years with my eyes down and my ears up I learned to picked up differences like that. Concerned I found myself looking up from my book and then feeling my mouth drop open.

“Reid?” I asked with concern as I stood up. He normally looked so put together, even if it looked like on occasion like he was dressing up in his father’s clothes. His appearance was normally so thought out, slightly nerdy, but usually so well kept and so… well Reid. Today was different, it wasn’t just his footsteps that looked sad and distracted. His shirt was half untucked, his hair was messed, he was wearing his glasses and not his contacts and they too were crooked. He looked like he had slept in his outfit but the bags under his eyes and the hollow look to his face portrayed the look of someone who hadn’t slept in days. It was disturbing to say the least to see the man I had gotten so used to seeing every day for weeks look so unlike his normal self.

“Reid?” I asked again when I realized he hadn’t responded to me, in fact he hadn’t even looked at me or recognized my presence in any way.

“What’s wrong Reid?” I asked again, standing close to him but keeping my distance, keeping that personal barrier I knew he liked to keep from people. He still didn’t respond, or even look at me, and it was then that I noticed that he was visibly shaking. Not convulsing, but his whole body was tremoring slightly, from his feet to the top of his head, almost like he was trying to keep himself under control. As I watched his eyes reflect no light almost as if they stared straight through me I caught whiff of a distinctive smell, it was buried underneath other smells but it was still there. Clinging to his body and to his hair. It smelled like smoke, and not the pleasant aroma of a campfire or a winter fire inside, it smelled like burnt hair, burnt plaster. It was acrid and unpleasant and I could tell it wasn’t from today.

“Please,” I begged, finally deciding to break one of the unspoken rules that we had set by lifting my arms up and placing my hands softly on his shoulders. I felt his body jolt at my touch, like a shiver passed through his entirety. But it seemed to work because he tilted his head down to look at me and I almost preferred when he was staring through me instead of the look I saw in his eyes.

“Why do you smell like smoke Reid?” I asked with growing concern.

“Bomb… there was a bomb…” Reid replied shakily, his voice barely above a whisper but it sounded empty, void of his usual life and endless supply of knowledge.

“I, I couldn’t save her…” Reid whispered as I was processing what he had said a moment before about a bomb.

“Couldn’t save who? Who Reid?” I asked, my concern turning to nerves with every lack of definitive answer.

“Elle…” Reid whispered, drawing her name out softly.

“Elle? Elle from your team? Did she get caught in a bomb explosion?” I asked, my eyes fervently searching his face for any type of response, any type of clue his words weren’t giving me. I got it when he shook his head no, ever so slightly that if I wasn’t studying every inch of his being I might have missed.

“She, she got sh-shot before the bomb. It’s, it’s been t-two days since the bomb. And I, I, I can’t get the smell of sm-smoke out of my hair,” Reid offers as he raises a hand absentmindedly to his hair and runs his fingers frantically through his disheveled locks.

“Oh Reid,” I answer softly, trying to put as much emotion into my words as I can.

“My, my mother hates to fly…” Reid whispered absently, as if he was back to being unaware of his surroundings. He had started rambling incoherently, he wasn’t making any sense.

“Alright, alright Reid. Come on. Just hold on one second,” I said softly as I took one hand off his shoulder, leaving the other one on his shoulder, so I could gather up my things not a foot behind me on my chair. Once I had shoved everything into my bag I turned back to Reid and started moving him gently towards the door. I nodded my head to the woman behind the counter, acknowledging my departure, as I opened the door and guided Reid out.

“Come on buddy, my car is right around the corner,” I said gently as I guided him around the corner the coffee shop occupied and towards where my car was parked. I unlocked the back seat and opened the door long enough to throw my bag in the back before closing it and bringing Reid around to the passenger side. I opened the door and helped Reid in, watching his autopilot take over as he buckled his seatbelt. Once I had figured he was tucked in tight I shut the door and went to my side, still trying to decide what exactly I was doing. My brain was on a similar autopilot, I couldn’t make sense of the mess in my head and of what Reid had dropped in my lap but my body apparently knew what to do.

I found myself parking in my garage before I even fully knew what I was doing. Parking and closing the automatic garage door I got out, went around to the passenger side and brought him out. It was like handling a robot or a giant unresponsive doll.

“Alright, sit down here Reid,” I finally spoke once I had gotten him inside my condo and into my living room. He sat like an un-animated doll, like his body was made out of heavy clay, formed into shape but given no life.

“Just sit right here and I’ll be back momentarily,” I offered with an absent pat to his shoulder.

Getting up I went into my kitchen and started gathering what I needed. I grabbed my kettle, filled it with water and put it on the stove, turning it on before grabbing a small clean dishcloth out of a drawer. Turning my tap on cold I ran the cloth under before returning to the living room, where Reid was sitting exactly where I had left him. Sitting down gingerly next to him on the couch I brought the wet cloth up to his forehead and wiped away the sheen of sweat that had popped up. I brought the cloth down and gently wiped the sweat off the rest of his face before going back to his forehead. A cold compress had always made me feel better so it was all I could think of to ease some of whatever was freaking Reid out. It was funny because even though he was sweating slightly, his skin was still cool to the touch as I had noted six days ago. Not even with all of this was his skin flushed.

“Shhh,” I offered as I came up without anything else to say to him. It was then that I heard my kettle start to rumble, that noise it makes right before it starts to whistle shrilly. Not wanting the high pitched noise to startle Reid I got up and went into my kitchen to stop it from happening.

Inside my kitchen I brought down two large mugs from my cupboard after I had taken the steaming kettle off the burner. I got out a canister of loose leaf chamomile tea and scooped some into two infusers before placing them and some of the hot water into each mug. Taking both steaming mugs in hand I walked out to my living room only to see Reid slumped over on my couch, his breathing even as he had fallen asleep. Walking in softly I placed his mug down on the coffee table across from, followed by my own, before lifting his thin legs up onto the couch and gently removing his shoes. Placing his large loafers on the floor next to the couch I reached over him and grabbed the thin blanket I kept there and opened it over his thin frame. Once I had tucked him in I took my own mug and walked over to my worn stuffed reading chair, wrapped myself in the afghan I kept there and curled up with my own tea and a book. I figured it would be easier to keep an eye on him if I was reading within eye shot of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe one more after this until next week!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

I was startled awake by a throaty sound. Catching my book before it hit the floor I looked around quickly, startled, before my eyes landed on Reid. I had momentarily forgotten where I was and what happened early that morning. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, driving the sleep from them before focusing them on Reid’s face.

“Hey,” Reid croaked at me before clearing his throat again. The first had been a polite way to wake me, the second was out of nervousness as he tucked his hair behind his ears.

“What, what time is it?” I croaked in question as I rubbed my face before bringing my hand up through my sleep messed blonde and black hair.

“It’s uh, it’s seven o’clock,” Reid stuttered in reply as he looked at me sheepishly.

“Jeeesus,” I drew out as I stretched in my chair. “You’ve been asleep for over nine hours Reid,” I yawned as my limbs fell happily back down to hang limp out at my sides.

“That’s the longest I’ve slept in days,” Reid answered honestly as he took off his glasses to rub his eyes before putting his glasses back on straight.

“I gathered as much. You had bags under your eyes bigger than any suitcases I own,” I offered with half a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. Reid chuckled softly in response.

“Uhm, I hate to ask this and sound like a complete head case but… where exactly am I?” Reid asked as he looked up to meet my eyes before rubbing his nose like a child.

“You’re at my place. It was the only place I could think to take you. Because to be honest I _didn’t_ know what to do with you, my body was on autopilot in a sense. You just showed up, completely out of it, not saying much and I didn’t know what to do. So my body took over and I brought you here,” I offered with a shrug as I braided my long hair into a sloppy loose braid to the side of my head around my neck.

“What’s this?” Reid asked as he pointed at the large purple polka dotted mug sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

“Well that _was_ your mug of tea I had made you. I figured coffee, or the caffeine at least, wouldn’t be the best idea for you at the time. But that’s nine hour cold tea, I’ll go make you some more. No, no buts. There will be no coffee, you don’t need the caffeine, you need the soothing aspect of tea at least for now,” I said as I stood up and grabbed Reid’s mug, cutting him off when he opened his mouth. I knew he was going to ask for coffee instead of tea, but coffee _really_ wasn’t in his best interest at the moment. Whether he knew it or not. 

Taking both of our mugs into the kitchen I turned the stove back on to boil some more water. I dumped out our infusers, rinsed them and filled them with fresh leaves, then rinsing our mugs as I waited for the kettle to boil. And since I remembered what my grandmother told me, that a watched pot never boils, I busied myself about the kitchen. Stopping my fingers mid rake through my hair on top of my head I exhaled loudly as I tried to figure out what to do. Did I bring out food? I mean obviously he _had_ to be hungry by now. But what type of food? Do I make stupid finger food, do I bring out leftover entree type food? What does one feed a possibly deeply traumatized new acquaintance after they’ve woken up on your couch on their first ever visit to your house? Rubbing my eyes roughly I opened my fridge, hoping it’s contents would speak to me and tell me what to do. 

After opening and closing the same drawer multiple times I finally decided on small foods. Grabbing out two apples, a block of cheese I closed my fridge, items in hand. Opening a low cabinet with my foot I bent and grabbed a cutting board, sticking it under my arm I opened up one last draw and grabbed out a knife. I quickly cut up the two apples, coring out the center parts and stuck them in a bowl before hunking off slabs of cheese. Sticking the bowl of apple slices on a plate I tossed the cheese on as well, it was then that the kettle started to whistle. Shutting off the burner I poured the steaming water into our mugs and let them steep for a moment while I grabbed a bag of pretzel rods down off a cupboard shelf. Balancing the hot mugs on the cheese tray around the apple bowl I grabbed the pretzels and walked back into my living room.

As I made my way into the living room I noticed first that Reid was no longer on the couch where I had left him. Turning my head so I could scan the room I found him standing in a corner in front of one of my bookcases, the blanket I had tucked him in still loosely wrapped around his shoulders. One pale delicate hand gripping the blanket closed at his chest while the other was tracing the spines of my books on a shelf.

“Hey,” I said, announcing my entrance so as not to spook him to much. He only jumped a little, barely moving his body when he did. But he turned and smiled at me, that soft partial smile I had gotten used to him wearing. The one that made me wonder what he would look like if he _actually_ smiled.

“Hey. These are great,” Reid replied as he motioned at the books on the bookshelf he had been standing in front of.

“Thanks. I have more bookshelves in my bedroom, the spare bedroom and my office. I’m kind of an addict,” I answered with a chuckle as I walked over to the coffee table to set down the things I was carrying.

“I uh, I figured you’d probably be hungry since you slept all day but I didn’t know what you would want to eat. I have other things if this doesn’t interest you,” I offered lamely as I took everything off the tray holding the cheese and arranged it on the table before opening the bag of pretzel rods.

“You do that really well. And this is fine thank you,” Reid offered as he sat down and snagged an apple slice from the bowl.

“Do what really well? Fumble miserably at feeding people?” I laughed as I pushed the large purple polka dotted mug towards him.

“No, carry all those items on the tray. I would have dropped everything and made a huge mess,” Reid offered with a self deprecating laugh.

“Well I would hope so. I couldn’t own and run a coffee shop cafe if I hadn’t spent years carrying trays of shit to people,” I offered with a smirk before I bit into a hunk of cheese.

“Wait you own Miri’s?” Reid asked, a look of actual shock on his face. It was nice as it was an improvement on distraught and lost. But I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, wow. Mr. Profiler you really need to work on your skills. How did you not figure out that I owned that place?” I asked with a chuckle as I went for an apple slice. I thought he had figured that out long ago. Reid simply sat there like a fish out of water for a moment, his mouth opening and closing without any words coming out as he stared at me.

“But, but the cafe is called Miri’s! You’re name isn’t Miri!” Reid flabbergasted at me and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“No, my name is Marian. My _grandmother’s_ name was Miriam, Miri for short. The cafe was hers originally. Of course when she owned and ran it it was more of a bakery and less of a coffee shop like I have it now. She was more of a baker and I am more of a coffee freak, so when the cafe became mine I changed it over to more of what it is now so I could continue running it,” I supplied with a chuckle as I ate the remainder of my apple slice.

“So when you said paying for my coffee for the rest of forever wouldn’t be thanks enough…” Reid said, letting his sentence trail off.

“I was basically saying I’d comp it, yeah. You can see now why I said that really wouldn’t be thanks enough,” I added sheepishly.

“Well I guess this is kind of the worst way to make, to make it up to me,” Reid replied with a choked half chuckle, like he was almost near tears but they were stuck in his throat.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. I’ll take what I can get. Don’t worry,” I said softly, trying to be reassuring.

“It’s, it’s just that I can still smell the smoke in my hair. It’s awful. It just keeps reminding me of Elle getting shot,” Reid whispered as he twisted his fingers in his long hair.

“Hey I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you go take a shower, use my shampoos and body wash, they stink to high heaven. I _am_ a girl after all, so all my bathroom stuffs smells like overgrown fruit salad. That should take care of a good chunk of the smell. And then afterward, well afterward I can cut your hair if you’d like. It will break my heart to cut it, but it might help you with this,” I offered softly as I reached out and dared break that personal boundary again to lightly touch his long hair. It was so soft, long and the ends curled in all different directions like they had a mind of their own. The idea of cutting them made me sad but I knew psychologically it would make him feel better about everything. It was with my fingers in his hair that I felt the slight nod of his head in agreement.

“Alright. I’ll even get you some clean clothes, so I can wash what you’re wearing. Because honestly you look like you’ve lived in them for days. Come on, shower is this way,” I offered as I stood up and held a hand out for him. Gingerly he took it with a nod and I helped him up before turning and heading towards my bathroom, leading for him to follow.

“Bathroom is right in there, towels are on the wrack near the shower. I’ll go get you some clean clothes,” I offered with a half smile before turning and leaving him to business.

In my bedroom I stood there and had to think for a moment. Reid is thin, so clothes fitting wasn’t really going to be a problem. The fact that I was considerably shorter than him was going to be the stickler. Raking fingers through the top of my hair I looked around my room hoping it would speak to me and tell me the answers. I seemed to be doing that a lot today, asking the inanimate objects in my life for answers I couldn’t automatically find. Which was strange for me as I normally always had the answers I needed. Sighing I started opening my drawers and rummaging through them in hopes of finding something he could wear that wouldn’t look utterly absurd on him. Finally I found what I was looking for, one of my old Washington and Lee University sweatshirts. They hadn’t had any in my size when I bought it and regardless I had been on a ginormous sweats kick so it had suited my needs just fine. That memory triggered another thought in my head as I stood up from my dresser with my old sweatshirt in hand. Going to another dresser I rummaged through the bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of long dark blue sweatpants. 

Setting the folded articles of clothing on my bed I started to change my clothes as well, if I was going to cut Reid’s hair I may as well have comfy stay at home clothes on. Besides, I had literally slept in my clothes and I felt crumpled and uncomfortable. Shucking my clothes and tossing them into the open hamper in my room I slipped into the sweats I had been wearing last night before grabbing my own oversized sweatshirt I slipped it on and headed out. Running into my office I grabbed a pair of delicate sharp scissors I used on occasion to cut my own hair and went back out to the living room with everything in hand. I grabbed a stool from my kitchen and brought it out to the living room. By the time I had moved the coffee table out of the way I heard the shower turn off and the curtain pull back. Setting everything I needed within reach I grabbed the folded clothes and went to the bathroom door.

“Hey Reid, I have clean clothes for you and I can grab your clothes to wash,” I called through the door as I wrapped my knuckles on it politely. I waited as I heard him walking around before the door opened. Reid stood there, only partially blocked by the bathroom door, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist and one held up to his head.

“Hey, hold on,” Reid answered with a half smile as he turned and walked towards where his clothes were folded neatly. I took the moment his back was to me to admire the muscles on his back as he moved, watching their whip cord lean selves dance under his pale skin. I don’t think I moved my eyes away fast enough when he turned back towards me, which wasn’t my fault as while he may be thin he was corded with exquisite toned muscle, he blushed from his ears to his chest. 

“Here,” he said bashfully as he handed me his old clothes in exchange for the clean ones of mine.

“Thanks. Just come out to the living room when you’re done and sit on the stool and I’ll be right back,” I replied with my nervous half smile. When I took his clothes to my wash closet I could swear I felt heat on my ears. Was I blushing?

“I figured we could watch a movie while I cut your hair” I offered lamely as I came back into the living room after starting his clothes in the wash.

“That sounds good,” Reid nervously as he bit his lip over his shoulder at me before turning and facing front.

“Well I’m glad the sweatpants aren’t too short on you. I was terribly afraid they were going to be capris on you or something else as ridiculous,” I chuckled as I bent and picked up my comb.

“Capris?” Reid asked confused.

“Yeah um, women’s pants that stop right below the knee. Kind of ridiculous looking,” I offered with a half smile as I pictured Reid in a pair.

“Oh,” Reid offered lamely, as if he was trying to process what they were in his head.

“So I just got a new copy of one of my favorite movies, we could watch that. It’s called The Russian Ark. It’s actually kinda cool. It was um…”

“Filmed entirely at once, in one whole shot. No editing was done to the film. It’s actually one of my favorites as well,” Reid answered, finishing my sentence for me.

“Well it seems we have decided then, Russian Ark it is,” I said happily before popping the dvd into the player and starting it up. Once the movie had begun I walked to Reid and picked up the scissors.

“Alright, so how are we going to do this?” I asked as I stood in front of him, searching his face for any signs that this wasn’t what he wanted.

“Just cut it. Off,” Reid answered flatly, sounding like he was trying to hold something in.

“Alright then. Off it is,” I stated as I stepped around him and started running a comb through his long locks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next week my dears!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“Just about done,” I breathed softly as I stood bent in front of Reid, my hands on either side of his face making sure the front was even. I could feel his eyes staring at me intently as I blocked the view of the tv, I was glad I was focusing on his hair because I was unsure of myself under his close scrutiny.

“Hmm,” I said as I stood straight and looked at the top of his head, still avoiding his intense stare. Putting my scissors in the waistband of my sweats I took my hand and ran it through his damp newly shorn hair, from his hairline towards the back of his head, and watched as his eyelids fluttered closed. His face looked so relaxed for that brief moment, and as much as I wanted to do it again just so he could keep that look on his face I figured a second time would become awkward.

“Done,” I said softly as I removed my hand from his hair, quickly averting my eyes before he opened his and caught me looking at him. Reid didn’t strike me as someone who took being stared at particularly well, especially during times when he let his guard down momentarily.

“So I’m gonna go put your clothes in the dryer and this hairy towel in the washer. Do you want to pick out another movie? They’re on the bookshelf next to the tv on the left,” I called out over my shoulder. I heard him call out sure as I switched the loads, taking the time to divulge myself of any of his stray hair. No one liked those tiny little itchy hairs you got sometimes after a haircut, regardless of whether or not they were your own.

“I’m hungry and since it’s like eight thirty or so, do you want like a late-ish dinner type of food while we watch and wait? I’ve got deli meats and things for a sandwiches if you’d like,” I offered as I made my way in-between the living room and kitchen, talking to Reid’s bent form as he pondered my movie collection.

“That sounds great,” Reid called out absentmindedly, obviously lost in movie decision making land.

“If it helps, I organize my movies by genre and then…”

“And then alphabetically by director, I noticed. It’s a good sorting and shelving method,” Reid replied, once again finishing my sentence, with half a smile.

“Alright genius boy, don’t hurt yourself or anything. I’m gonna go get sandwich stuff, you just pick out a damn movie,” I scoffed as a tease before disappearing into my kitchen.

I figured that in this weird situation I was finding myself that grabbing a little of everything was going to be the best bet. Grabbing a bag of rolls and a bag of rye bread I put them on the counter. Next I opened up my fridge and grabbed salami, turkey, roast beef, two tomatoes, a head of red leaf lettuce and packages of sliced provolone and Swiss cheese. Placing those items on the counter I went back in for yellow mustard, mayo and two cans of cranberry seltzer water. I grabbed a large tray to put everything on before slicing up the tomatoes and then ripping apart the lettuce into useable pieces for sandwiches. Placing the tomato slices and leaves of lettuce into one bowl I placed it on the tray and arranged everything else on it, including two knives for condiment spreading. Grabbing the two cans of seltzer I picked up the tray and made my way into the living room, tearing off two pieces of paper towels on my way out.

“I figured I’d just bring out the makings and we could make our own. It’s not fancy or anything, but I don’t have a lot of company over usually. Ever,” I said as I placed the tray, drinks and paper towels down on the coffee table that Reid had apparently moved back while I was in the kitchen.

“That’s okay, I don’t either. I picked a movie and put it in. I hope I didn’t break your dvd player, I’m not the best with technology,” Reid answered sheepishly.

“I’m pretty sure it can take it. What did you pick?” I asked as I started opening up the rye bread so I could make a sandwich.

“Uhm, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” Reid replied with a nervous smile.

“Oh fantastic! That’s one of my favorites! Now like I said, I brought a little of everything just to be sure,” I offered as I pointed at the tray of sandwich supplies.

“Did you know the Swiss cheese we eat here is made largely in America? It’s actually just a generic name for a cheese that closely resembles Emmental cheese which originated from Emmental in Switzerland,” Reid rambled off as he placed a slice of provolone on one side of his bun.

“I like it for the holes,” I teased as I held a piece up and squinted at Reid through one of the larger holes.

“Those are actually referred to as eyes. And a Swiss cheese without holes is referred to as blind,” Reid offered with a smirk before reaching for a slice of his own and putting it on his sandwich.

“I think the idea of _blind_ cheese is a little unnerving,” I chuckled as I started spreading mayo on one of my slices.

“So who attended Washington and Lee University?” Reid asked as he motioned at the sweatshirt he was wearing before grabbing a tomato slice.

“I did actually,” I replied in answer as I layered lettuce over my Swiss before adding a piece of provolone.

“What did you study?” Reid asked nonchalantly as he continued building his meal.

“I majored in Neuroscience and minored in Chemistry and Mathematics,” I stated simply as I continued to layer some of everything into my sandwich.

“Seriously? And now you own and run a coffee shop cafe?” Reid asked incredulously.

“ _Seriously_. And how come you’re not a scientist, doctor or librarian somewhere?” I asked back, mimicking his tone so he would know I was teasing.

“Because I feel I was groomed for being an FBI Profiler for the BAU. I wouldn’t know how to do anything else,” Reid replied honestly, halting in his sandwich making.

“Well I guess you could say then that I shook off my grooming and decided to do what I felt would make me happy. And as long as one is happy with what they are doing in life then I guess that is all that matters right?” I asked as I smooshed the two halves of my sandwich together and looked over at Reid before biting into the monstrosity.

“Right,” Reid replied before following suit, causing a blob of mustard and mayo to shmear his nose. I swallowed so as not to choke when I started to laugh and simply held out a paper towel to him, motioning at his nose. Blushing, Reid took the offered item and wiped the condiments away.

“You know you could have been a profiler,” Reid supplied as he stuck his paper towel on his lap.

“With my mad skills in science, coffee slinging and business? Probably not!” I laughed in response.

“No I mean with your other innate abilities, you have an incredible sense of your surroundings and an uncanny way of picking up on things. I’d call it a psychic ability if I believed in that stuff. You profiled me almost perfectly the first day we met after seeing me for all of a few minutes. We could always use someone with a mind like yours, and not just your deductive skills, over at the BAU,” Reid stated rather matter of factually.

“Thanks but no thanks. I like my coffee, my books and my regulars. And besides, I’d be lousy with a gun,” I chuckled.

“I used to be lousy too. But I got better and made Morgan eat that damn whistle too,” Reid replied rather smugly. This was a different side of Reid and I couldn’t help but answer him with a silent raised eyebrow in question.

“Long story,” Reid mumbled sheepishly into his sandwich.

“Well if it helps, I’m pretty sure I didn’t profile you perfectly that first day. There’s still a lot about you Doctor Reid that I don’t quite know,” I offered in my own matter of fact tone.

“You can call me Spencer if you’d like,” Reid replied softly, a pink tint staining the tops of his ears as he said it, looking at his sandwich and not at me.

“All right. Spencer it is,” I said matter of factually before biting into my sandwich again and then turning my attention to the movie that had started ten or so minutes ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to the lovely people out there not only leaving kudos and comments but just reading my story.
> 
> You guys make my day brighter!  
> So this chapter is for you guys!!!
> 
> I hope you guys continue to enjoy this story!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“Reid? Reid? Spencer?” I whispered as I nudged the sleeping man next to me on my couch. We had made it through another movie after Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and it wasn’t until I had heard this soft noise that wasn’t quite a snore coming from beside me during the third film that I had realized that Spencer had fallen asleep. Made sense because regardless of how much sleep he had gotten earlier on my couch I felt that he had a lot of catching up to do. And if he was able to do that on my couch then I wasn’t going to say a word.

He did seem to mumble slightly like he was partially waking up when I used his first name, he even cracked his eyes open a bare centimeter or two.

“Spencer it’s really late so just sleep here for the night alright? I’m gonna go to bed,” I said softly. He mumbled back incoherently in response and I took that as an understanding. Standing I pulled the blanket he had slept under earlier back down over him, tucking it in around him. Once I felt that he was sufficiently taken care of I straightened and looked down at him. The bags under his eyes were less prominent but still there, but he looked so peacefully sleeping. He was already quite young, not really any younger than me but still too young for the job he held and the life he led, but while sleeping he looked even younger. The worry lines and tension left his face and he just looked, well, peaceful. Bending down I lightly tucked an errant lock of his newly short hair behind his ear.

“Still long enough to tuck behind your ears at least,” I said softly before standing up to take myself to my own bed for sleep.

**-xXx-**

“So you like Agent Prentiss?” I asked as I picked apart my muffin into more manageable sized pieces before eating a piece.

“I like her quite a lot actually, which is strange for me as I don’t normally don’t like people so quickly. But she’s incredibly intelligent, very in fact. Her understanding of languages is astounding really, and Gideon was impressed by her. Eventually at least. So yeah I do,” Reid answers truthfully before sipping his coffee.

“Even though she’s the replacement for Elle?” I asked as I rearranged myself on my chair, I never knew how Spencer was going to react to my questions sometimes.

“Elle, Elle left on her own accord. I can’t hold her exit over Prentiss’ head logically. I mean at first we all saw it as an intrusion into our group, which makes sense from a psychological standpoint. A lot of the other agents refer to us like as a pack, like a pack of wolves. We don’t respond well to outside people I guess,” Reid offered with a shrug, ending the discussion on Elle.

“It’s because you’re a family. You and your team members. So it makes sense that you would be wary of outsiders encroaching on your tight knit team,” I stated rather matter of factually as I continued to eat my muffin. It was a new muffin the small bakery in my coffee shop was trying out, and so far it was pretty good for one of those froo-froo, non everything tasty, types of muffins.

“That makes sense I guess, we are very close. But we’re not that scary! At least I don’t think so. We’re an inviting group, they’d like you I know they would! They’d accept you!” Reid rushed as if trying to convince me.

“Spence calm down it’s okay. I find your team dynamic, the fact that you’re such a close family both in and out of work, incredibly interesting. But more than that I find it completely healthy and incredibly endearing. You need someone to look out for you Spence, otherwise you’re liable to walk into oncoming traffic,” I teased causing Spencer to choke on his coffee as he tried to not spit it out over the both of us. “And besides I don’t really know if they’d like me all too much. I tend to be a bit too forward and awkward,” I coughed awkwardly as if to prove my point.

“Hey! I like you and if I like you then they’re bound to like you! They like people much easier and quicker than I do, so that has to count for something,” Reid gushed. He was so quick to appease me it seemed he had forgotten his need for his own personal space as he had reached across the distance between us and grasped one of my hands. It was the feel of his smooth cool lithe fingers wrapped around my hand resting out in the open between us that stopped me from replying. It was such a step outside of his norm that my brain ceased to function for a brief moment.

“I-I know that we’ve been friends for-for like five months now and I kn-know that I haven’t really introduced you to my friends. It’s just that all my friends are profilers, you have no idea what that’s like. It’s been hard enough to keep our friendship a secret from them, Morgan has been after me for months nonstop. Badgering me like a suspect who had killed a family member of his. He knows I’ve been hiding something and he won’t let it up, Garcia and Prentiss have even joined in. It’s been torture, you have no idea. It-it’s not that I’m ashamed of our friendship, it-it-it’s just…” Reid stuttered and trailed miserably.

“It’s just that you wanted something of your own that you didn’t have to share with your teammates, your family. It’s natural when you live immersed in a life that leaves not much to the imagination or allows for anything private in ones life that one would desire to have something to keep to themselves,” I stumbled out, trying and hoping to ease his rampant arising nervousness. I couldn’t decide if it was because I just didn’t want him to worry or if it was just because I didn’t want him to remove his hand from mine to tuck his hair behind his ear. It had grown long since I had cut it for him, his hair had that unnatural trait.

“But I _do_ want them to meet you actually, I think you’d like them. There are a lot of them in you, it might be why I was able to be friends with you so quickly, why I felt at ease with you,” Spencer mumbled into his chest, only periodically looking me in the eye.

“I think that would be a fantastic idea,” I offered in response, daring to reach my other hand out to place over the top of his, causing his head to jerk up suddenly.

“Yeah?” Reid asked, his eyes widening as he looked at me in earnest.

“Yes Spence,” I replied with a half smile.

“Did you know..”

“That the diameter of the largest bubble blown with bubble gum ever was twenty-three inches?” I supplemented. 

“No, uh…”

“That chocolate chips were invented for use in the chocolate chip cookie recipe?” I added.

“No…”

“That both male and female cones appear on a pine tree, one for seeds and the other for pollen?” I interrupted again with a smirk.

“That-you’re-one-of-only-two-people-who-call-me-Spence!” Reid sputtered out all in one breath, rushed like one giant conglomerated word.

“Ohhh…” I let the word draw out, not knowing where to go from there. I couldn’t find any other words to say at the moment. But when I felt his fingers curl ever so slightly against my hand on top of his, sandwiched between both of mine, I decided to stop trying to think of words to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry that this is SO incredibly short!  
> But at least it's like I promised. . . An update a week!!!  
> I will do better about making the next one longer I hope!!!
> 
> Now I gotta get mad crazy in my writing so I can have a stash written for those times when life gets crazy and in the way!
> 
> Hope you all are enjoying this so far!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

I was in the middle of reading a favorite book of mine one night during a massive thunder and lightning storm when a sound resonated through my condo that most definitely wasn’t from the storm raging on outside. Putting my book down on my side table I strained my ears to try and hear if the noise went off again. When it sounded a second time I realized it was some sort of knock on my front door. Worried I grabbed the baseball bat I kept in the hallway closet closest to my front door, my open cell phone with 911 pre-dialed on it in my hand. As I got to my front door I placed it down on the small side table near my front door so I couldn’t accidentally dial it and so I could grip my bat with both my hands. Creeping towards my door a very straight forward knock sounded for a third time. Exhaling slowly I crept up to look through the peep hole to see who or what was on my front step. Seeing a familiar form I hastily unlocked my front door and ripped it open.

“Spencer?” I exclaimed in shock as I forgot my grip on the bat when I saw Reid’s bedraggled and soaked form standing, dripping, on my front step. He didn’t have a coat on and was completely drenched to the bone, he looked as if he had been in the storm for hours.

“Jesus fucking Christ Spencer! What the fuck are you doing out here? You’re going to catch your death of cold!” I wailed as I tossed my bat to the side to reach out and forcibly grab Reid by the front of his shirt by the fistfull to drag him inside immediately. Slamming the door behind me once I had Reid fully inside my entryway I finally turned to look at the wet rat that stood where my friend should be.

“What’s going on Reid?” I asked with a shaking voice as I watched him finally move, wringing his hands over and over slowly in front of him. It looked as though he was trying to scrub something off of them but I couldn’t see anything on them, at least not in the dim light of my condo.

“I can’t get the feeling of blood off my hands. I can still see it, all over my hands, up to my elbows. It was everywhere. And I tried, I tried so hard. So, so hard…” Reid whispered softly.

“Blood? What? What happened? Reid you’re kinda freaking me out here,” I rushed as I grabbed his hands to hurriedly flip them over and over to see if there was actually any blood on them like he was talking about.

“Nathan Harris. He, he, he almost died. Right there, under my hands. I was holding him together, his ragged torn flesh, trying to hold them together as he bled out everywhere. I could barely hold him together. He, he was so worried and I should have known. I should have known,” Reid whimpered brokenly as he took his hands from mine and continued to wring them continuously.

“Should have known what Spence? What should have you know? What’s the matter?” I asked frantically as I found myself searching his face for answers.

“Nathan said that he was afraid, he recognized himself in me. He knew we were similar, that we were so much alike. That was why he came to me, seeking answers. Because he knew we were alike, that he knew I would understand what it was like,” Reid continued to ramble, his voice breaking every other few words.

“He knew you were alike how? What is it that you would understand was like?” I asked worriedly as I placed my hands on his shoulders, still keeping an arms length of space between us. Reid had developed a knack for showing up randomly in my presence in some sort of tumultuous state that was hard for me to discern.

“He said that, that I would know what it’s like to-to be afraid of one’s own mind,” Reid stuttered brokenly. I stood there at a loss for words once again as he seemed to once again be faced with this problem. Whomever had started the seed in his mind in the past that his mind was something to be afraid of should be shot. Or at least brought to justice so I could pummel the shit out of them for doing this to him. This seed had been allowed to fester and grow slowly in the back of his mind, poisoning him little by little and eating away at the core person he was and the person he could eventually be. Allowed him to be standing here in front of me, shaking to the bone and not just with damp. His head shaking back and forth as if trying to shake this thing from his subconscious.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Shhh,” I soothed him as I stepped closer to him. His eyes were shot wide and scared looking, unknowing. I continued to try and wordlessly soothe him as I closed the space between us. He just stood there shaking and staring blindly as I stepped closer, as if he didn’t see me. As I stood directly in front of him I watched his head continue to shake side to side I couldn’t take it any more. Ever so slowly so as not to startle him I raised my hands off his shoulders and placed one on either side of his head to stop it from shaking.

“Shhh…” I soothed as I continued to hold his face. I could feel his angular cheekbones moving underneath the smooth cold skin of his cheeks as if he was clenching and unclenching his jaw repeatedly. I instinctively found myself rubbing my thumbs back and forth on his cheeks, across his cheekbones as I continued to wordlessly soothe him. Gently I took one hand off his cheek and brought it up to stroke the side of his head down his face. Gently I tucked some of his errant hair behind his smooth ear. His eyes didn’t seem to see me but something recognized something going on as tears escaped the ducts of his left eye, trickling down his face. Gently I took the hand that I had left cradling the side of his neck to gently wipe it away.

“You don’t have to be afraid of your mind. Don’t you _ever_ be afraid of your mind. It is one of the _most_ _beautiful_ things I have ever had the honor to witness. Your mind is like music, a symphony of every instrument made, playing in perfect sync. I feel like a person stranded in the desert finally finding water when I witness your mind at work. There is nothing scary or wrong or to be feared about your mind,” I stated sternly yet caringly as I tried to convey the meaning of my words. I searched his wide unfocused eyes to find some hint that I had gotten through to him in some way. If I hadn’t been watching so closely I would have missed the moment his eyes came back into focus, focus directly on my off colored eyes, and then I watched as his pupils dilated largely. They blew so far out it was like his entire iris went black, and I couldn’t discern what made them dilate so large.

I caught myself when I felt my feet catch beneath me so I wouldn’t fall when Reid slammed his body against mine, causing me to fall against the wall behind me. I didn’t have time to form any sort of thought because the feel of Reid’s lips as he smashed them against mine pushed all thoughts from my mind. It was all lips and teeth smashing against one another, if I had been in my right mind it probably would have hurt but all I could think was how good it felt. His lips, though cool, were smooth and moist and they felt like heaven. When his hands came up from his sides I felt them tangle in my hair, left down and unfettered by a hair tie. His fingers twisting in my long hair, pulling me closer to him as he used his body to press me even further against the wall. I had long since allowed his tongue to slip into my mouth, happily giving him dominance when his tongue wrapped around my own and fought for it. He tasted sweet, or at least I thought he did, all I was sensing was touch. His lips had finally warmed, they were hot, fast, sloppy and hungry. I tightened my arms that had found their way around his neck, as if I could pull him any closer to me then he already was. My knees gave out ever so slightly when I felt Reid rut against me, pressing his hardening crotch against me forcibly. It sent a wave of shivers through my body, starting from my center and radiating to my head and my toes. I couldn’t help but moan, his action was so instinctual, guttural and animalistic. Reid was stronger then he looked and if I was right and that wasn’t his gun pressed up against me, rolling and pushing against me, then there was more to him then I had realized.

“Hnngggh-uh.”

As soon as it escaped my lips, Reid’s lips and teeth raking against my neck, I felt him freeze. And in the blink of an eye it felt like he was standing across the room from me when in all actuality it was three or four feet. It took me a moment or two of deep even breathing, an attempt to pull myself together before I heard Reid stammering gibberish from where he was so far from me.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Oh god what did I do. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…” Reid kept repeating over and over like a mantra.

“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for? You did nothing wrong Reid, I’m okay. You did nothing wrong,” I tried reassuring him as my heart still beat so fast it felt like it wanted to burst from my chest. I hadn’t been this close, this type of close, with another person in what felt like forever so my body was running on overload. But even with all the adrenaline and hormones racing through my body like some Indie five hundred track my brain was still analytical enough to know he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“No. No, I-I took advantage of you. I pressed you without first asking. I just assumed and too-took what I wanted without thinking,” Reid stammered. I could see him slipping back into the frame of mind, no pun intended, he had been in when he first arrived at my doorstep a few minutes earlier.

“Took advantage of me? Oh no, no, no Reid. You didn’t take advantage of me. If anything I took advantage of you,” I answered softly as I slowly made my way towards him as if I was approaching a spooked animal. “I touched you without asking, when all you were seeking were answers,” I finished as I stood a foot from him, trying to see if my words were getting through.

“Bu-but I push-pushed you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Reid whispered as I watched him start to retreat back into himself.

“Hey, hey, hey. A girl likes to be pushed every once and a while Reid,” I teased, hoping to lighten the mood and draw him back out.

“No, no. I fucked up. I’m fucked up,” Reid whimpered.

“Spence,” I whispered as I dared reach out again to tuck his now very mussed up hair behind his ear. I was risking a lot by forcing contact again, but I could tell that this went deeper than just his fear of his mind and maybe had something to do with the case he just finished. He flinched ever so slightly but stopped. Maybe it was the simple act of me tucking his hair behind his ear or maybe it was the use of the nickname I had inadvertently started calling him. Whatever it was he stopped.

“Spence,” I whispered. “Don’t you think for one moment you did something wrong,” I soothed as I started to take my hand away from beside his head, not missing the way his head leaned in towards my hand ever so slightly as I removed it to hang it at my side. 

“If you had done something wrong, something I hadn’t wanted, I am quite confident I could’ve stopped you. You may be made out of whip cord muscle and sinew, with one of the most brilliant brains in existence, but I have a few debilitating tricks up my sleeve that I could have employed that would have taken you out of commission. So please, don’t blame yourself for anything. You are a beautiful man. Inside _and_ out. And I don’t believe you have an ounce of bad in you. Except for maybe when it comes to your own personal well being. Who goes out in a rainstorm in jeans and a tshirt in D.C. when it’s been this cold out?” I teased, trying my damndest to lighten the mood even a fraction of an inch.

“The team is going to kill me if I get sick and go into work and infect all of them,” Reid choked out in what sounded like a half laugh, half sob.

“Exactly. And from what you’ve told me about Agent Hotchner, I don’t think his outwardly disposition would be improved by congestion and a cherry red nose with sniffles. So come on, let’s get you out of those clothes, into something dry and something warm in a mug between your hands and then go from there. Alright?” I asked with a half smile.

“That, uchm, that sounds like a good plan,” Reid answered as he cleared his throat.

“Alright. Good. So, strip!” I announced sternly, putting on my best drill sergeant voice and act. 

Reid looked at me stunned for a moment or two, blinking at me rapidly before slowly and shakily reaching down to grab the hem of his wet shirt. With unsure hands he peeled his shirt up and off his body. It caused him a bit of a struggle as it was sticking to his skin which gave me a chance to be able to take in his stomach and chest. The muscles that were flexing with his struggle with his shirt moved underneath his skin and I couldn’t help but let myself stare just a little. His body was lithe and taut, it moved on its own with an inherent grace that was amazing to watch even in this basic of movements. His skin was almost an alabaster color, as if it never saw the sun and was allowed to keep it’s perfection unblemished. I had to swallow when I realized I was regarding Reid’s body as perfection. Seeing his body move as it did brought up our earlier interaction and it caused my pulse to race all over again and my breathing to pick up. The room seemed brighter by the time Reid finally got his shirt off and I could feel the heat radiating off my face, neck and ears. 

“Here,” Reid said as he nervously held out his wet shirt to me.

“Th-thanks,” I stammered as I took the shirt from him, allowing my fingers to wrap around and onto his hand and wrist. When he didn’t flinch away I took a bold move and stepped forward and pressed my lips against his. Nothing like what had transgressed earlier, I just simply pressed my lips against his, reminding myself that I hadn’t imagined their softness from earlier. After a moment or three I stepped back, releasing my lips hold of Reid’s, before turning on my heel and walking away towards my laundry room, exhaling the breath I had been holding. Did I expect to get slapped? No. But I hadn’t been sure he was going to stand there while I did it, let alone kiss me back. I couldn’t help but press a hand to my lips when I got to my room to grab the sweats he had worn the first and last time he had been over at my house.

“Here. I got you the sweats you wore the last time you were here. You know where the towels are,” I said with a half smile as I handed him the clothes before walking past him towards my kitchen.

I heard the door to my bathroom close as I was rummaging about in my kitchen and I couldn’t help but smile as I heard him grunting through my walls. And it was a smile smile, not just a half smile like I usually shared with the world. After fiddling around I pushed the button on my sleek state of the art coffee machine and got down two mugs, including the purple polka dotted one I had assigned as _Reid’s_ since the beginning. Long before I knew purple was a favorite color of his. Grabbing down my sugar bowl I also grabbed a bottle of Irish whiskey figuring tonight was a good night for strong Irish coffee. Hearing Reid come out of the bathroom I started our coffees, making sure to put enough sugar to kill a moose into Reid’s mug. As soon as the coffee finished I filled the mugs before adding a _very_ healthy dose of whiskey to both. Finishing my coffee the way I liked it I grabbed the two mugs and made my way into my living room to find Reid sitting on my couch with a movie already started. I found both corners of my mouth moving upwards when I saw him wrapped in the quilt from the first night, his hair sticking up every which way after being dried with a towel.

“Here,” I said as I held out his coffee. I had to chuckle a bit at his childish look of joy at the mug of steaming liquid gold. The man sure as hell did love his coffee!

“Just be care-”

“Ahhck!” Reid coughed and sputtered after taking a huge gulp.

“-Ful. It’s piping hot and chock full of Irish whiskey,” I finished as I sat down next to a still sputtering Reid.

“So _**Death Bed: The Bed That Eats**_ huh? Good choice,” I offered when I finally realized what movie Reid had put into my dvd player.

“I find the eclectic collection of movies quite intriguing actually. You’d be surprised what a person’s collection of movies says about someone,” Reid said with a smirk without taking his eyes of the television screen.

“Ha. Ha,” I replied sarcastically as I took a calculated sip of my delicious coffee.

**-xXx-**

“Can I ask you a question?” Reid asked once we were well into our second movie of the night.

“Sure Spence, ask away,” I answered as I continued to watch the movie.

“Do you, uhm. Do you really think my-my mind is beautiful?” Reid asked nervously. I turned to face him just in time to watch him tuck his hair behind one of his ears.

“Spence I’ve never lied to you. There’s never been a reason to lie to you and I don’t ever see a reason to ever lie to you in the future,” I replied honestly. 

“Really?” Reid asked hopefully.

“Really. You have one of the most unique wonders I have ever been blessed enough to witness,” I answered honestly.

One moment I was looking into the wide eyes of Reid and the next I was being pressed into my couch by Reid. His lips were pressed against mine once again as intense as before but less hurried. There was no clashing of our teeth but god were there lots of lips, and he had the most incredible set of lips I had had the chance to taste in a very long time. So much about Reid’s physique wasn’t soft, at least to my eye, but his lips more than made up for it. He tasted like coffee and whiskey and his tongue danced with mine in a way that would have made my knees too weak to stand so it was good I was lying down, pressed into the cushions by his body. He felt so good pressing me down, _keeping_ me down, with his strength alone. This time when the moan came I didn’t hold it back, I let it escape from my lips and pass through his, feeling it resonate against both our lips. When he moaned in response, deep in his throat, I swear I could feel it vibrate his Adam’s apple we were pressed so close. This time when he pressed himself against me, showing me how much he was enjoying this, I allowed myself to arch up against him.

“Jesus Spence,” I moaned when his lips had finally left my own to travel down my jaw to my ear and higher neck. The chuckle, or whatever it was, he admitted vibrated against the overly sensitive skin of my neck, mixed with the constant thrusting and gyrating motion of his hips and crotch against my own was almost _over_ intoxicating. Almost mind you. 

Taking my hands out of his hair I let them travel down his back to where the sweatshirt ended and finally allowed my hands to touch the skin I had been looking at and thinking about for months now. As I had surmised his skin was cool to the touch but what I hadn’t surmised was how smooth it would be. It was like glass. Beautiful, malleable, porcelain, alabaster glass. And the muscle beneath it moved like liquid. I couldn’t figure out what was more enticing, my hands riding the rhythm of his back or the feel of his lips. When Reid made his way back to my lips again and bit down on my bottom lip my finger tips involuntarily dug into his back, I could almost see in my mind the crescent moon marks I was making.

“God Marian,” Reid gasped out, drawing out the end of my name.

“Reid, Reid. Spence. We. We gotta. Gotta slow it. Down. Just for the time. Time being,” I  
managed to get out between kissing Reid. But I was right, and as much as I wanted to continue where this was going and as much as I hated leaving a man in the state I could _feel_ Reid in, we had to stop. Tonight after whatever Reid had gone through was _not_ the night for us to continue this.

“Speeence,” I drew out as a groan when he took the opportunity to press into me rather strongly for the umpteenth time.

“Hun, hun, we gotta stop,” I groaned again before grabbing a hold of Reid’s head, lifting it up and laying on him one of the most intense kisses I could lay on him in the position we were in on my couch.

“Your-you’re right,” Reid said once I had let his lips go and he had been able to regain his breath and composure.

“It’s not. Not that I don’t want to continue this further than this because believe me I do. But tonight is not the night right now. Not with everything that you’ve gone through. When it’s right we’ll know. Let’s, let’s start with a, a uhm, a date alright?” I spoke heavily as I sat up and straightened my shirt, bringing it down to cover up my bared midriff.

“You’re right. We could go on a, go on a, uhm on a…”

“On a date?” I finished for the fumbling Reid.

“Ye-yeah,” Reid coughed out.

“I’m surprised at you agent Reid,” I chuckled softly as I looked at Reid as he nervously starting tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Surprised at what?” Reid asked confused as he looked up at me. His hair had gone from rumpled from drying to make out hair. His face was flushed, his lips were swollen and plump from kissing and his chest was heaving with heavy breathing. And dear god if he wasn’t the sexiest thing I had seen in a long time. Which was very, _very_ dangerous for me.

“Surprised at you. Surprised that, that you had so much _that_ coiled up inside you. And then surprised that after that you were so scared of the word _date_ ,” I chuckled softly so he could see I was only teasing.

“Most people underestimate me when it comes to sexuality and prowess just because i find it hard to not only speak to but to interact with females. And also that because I find it hard to approach them or really anything having to do with them that I am sexually inexperienced and lacking. I like to think that because my numbers lack considerably when compared to someone like Morgan that I make up for it with an incredible knowledge base. And my inability to say or use the word date probably comes from my aforementioned reasons. While I may have sexual knowledge, contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t mean I’m knowledgeable when it comes to having _actual_ relationships with them,” Reid explained rather matter of factually.

“Well that’s something we’ll both have to explore and rectify later. _AT_ another time,” I said with an almost whole real smile.

“Then, then at another time. After a _date_ ,” Reid choked out.

“Yes. And like I said, when the time is right we’ll know. And I promise to make it worth your _while_ when it comes about,” I said as I stood.

“But now it’s time for sleep?” Reid asked rhetorically.

“Exactly,” I said before taking a hand and raking my fingers through Reid’s hair from his forehead to the back of his head. Once again I watched as Reid’s eyes rolled back into his head and this time he let out a groan, one that he hadn’t allowed escape the last time I had done this to him.

“Goodnight Spence,” I whispered as I let go of his hair and kissed the top of his head lightly.

“Goodnight Marian,” Reid whispered back as I walked away from him towards my bedroom, shutting lights off as I went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmygod guys I wrote on this story like CRAZY!
> 
> And I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to ALL of you out there!  
> Yes all of you!  
> Not just the ones who comment.  
> Not just the ones who leave kudos.  
> To all of you out there that are taking the time to even READ my writing!  
> You guys really make my world go round.  
> You are the bee's knees and the cat's meow and everything else.  
> You guys rock.
> 
> This chapter is for all of you.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“Hey Spence,” I remarked as a shadow fell over my book. As I knew who it was I looked up from my book to give my friend a partial smile.

“How did you know it was me?” Spencer asked as he sat down in the chair across from me. The chair that had become “his” not only to me but to the people who worked here for me. 

“Because unless we’re slammed you’re the only person who actively seeks out the chair across from me. Most people leave me alone, or sit other places. And besides, that’s _your_ chair so of course it’s going to be you sitting in it,” I chuckled softly as I reached for my coffee.

“ _My_ chair?” Spencer inquired as he crossed one leg over the other before sipping his own piping hot coffee. He had sat a rather large looking pile of folders on his lap but that didn’t phase me, if anything he’d move through the pile and onto a book before he had to leave me.

“Yes _your_ chair. You’re one of the only people who sits in it. It’s in fact been the only chair you’ve ever sat in here,” I answered with a shrug of my shoulders as I took one last sip of my coffee before getting up with my empty cup.

“So that makes that your chair if I follow your logic. And then does this make this our spot?” Spencer asked, a quizzical look to his face as if he was trying to solve some giant math problem in his head.

“Sure thing Spence,” I teased as I ruffled his hair as I walked passed him to get more coffee. It was nice to see Spencer so happy go lucky, it was the type of person I knew he was inside. I had seen him at some pretty rough points recently so it was nice to see him like this, smiling, goofy, tripping over his own feet and solving unsolvable problems in his head. It was a side to him that I was guessing he didn’t show too many people except for in spurts. 

I made my way over to the long line forming in front of my coffee and bakery counter and sighed. The beautiful thing about owning a coffee shop is not having to stand in line with everyone else. The downside to that little perk being that I had to get it myself, which could be annoying when I was feeling lazy. As I rounded the counter and headed towards the coffee machines I felt Ray-Anne’s hip bump into my own.

“Hey Ray-Ray,” I laughed softly as I started making my coffee.

“So that dreamy tall drink of a man your boyfriend or what Mari?" Ray-Anne asked she lazily filled a basket with cookies from out back.

“Dreamy tall drink of a. . . Are you talking about Reid?” I blurted out.

“Reid? Is that the name of the tall lanky guy that falls all over the place who sits with you and stares unabashedly at you over coffee?” Ray-Anne asked with a fake nonchalance.

“He does not,” I scoffed as I added foam to my drink.

“Mhmm. I know you see a lot of shit with your weird Spidey senses and all. But girl you still have your head down and your eyes focused, you’d be surprised at the things you miss. Things you miss that _I_ see over here because I’m on the outside looking in. Or over to be more exact,” Ray-Anne drawled with a tease.

“I think the caffeine is getting to your brain,” I scoffed as I finished creating my coffee before putting a lid on it.

“Whatever lets you sleep at night,” Ray-Anne sang before turning around and heading back into the bakery.

“Mhmm,” I answered at her retreating form as I went back towards my chair and Spencer. I paused on my way back over just to stand and watch Reid, seeing if maybe Ray-Ray had some insight from this vantage point. Spencer looked to be reading to the outside eye but I knew he was lost in thought, he hadn’t moved his finger down the page a smidge. Normally it took him seconds to scan a page, to commit it to memory. That lead to it taking him moments to turn page after page. So to anyone else it looked like he was reading but not to me. I watched as his eyes ever so slightly lifted up off the page he wasn’t reading to look over at my empty chair. Every few seconds he would look up from his files that he wasn’t reading to glance at my empty chair. With a shake of my head I continued over to Spencer.

“So I was thinking…” Spencer spoke before trailing off.

“You? Thinking? _Never_!” I scoffed mockingly. 

“Shh! I was thinking about the… that uhh… the da-” Spencer trailed off as if his brain stopped working completely.

“The date thing?” I offered confused. It had been almost a month since Spencer and I had had our rendezvous at my condo, our rendezvous that had ended in us talking about possibly going on a date at some point. 

“Yeah. That,” Spencer deadpanned as he pushed his 1950’s style glasses farther up his nose before tucking hair behind his ear. It was crazy to think how fast his hair grew, it felt like only yesterday I had cut it. Which obviously wasn’t true, as I had known Spencer now for months but it still felt like it.

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want,” I answered with a shrug before sipping my coffee. Still too hot to drink at the moment.

“No, uh… I was thinking that maybe we could do something tomorrow, Friday. Morgan is back home in Chicago and our workload is pretty light. I just have some case files to go over, people wanting my insight on their cases and then some basic paperwork so I thought we could do something. That, that is if you’re feeling up to it,” Spencer added with a partial half smile.

“Well I’ll be. I’d love to Spence,” I added with a grin.

“Well good. It’s, it’s a-”

“A date?” I added with a tease.

“Yeah that,” Spencer blushed as he looked back down at his files. I couldn’t help but grin as I went back to my book.

“So what are you giving advice on?” I asked nonchalantly after Spencer had finished his file, closed it and brought out a yellow legal pad and began writing down on it.

“Lots of things. This one is currently about a case that looks to be the work of a small time serial killer,” Spencer replied nonchalantly as he continued to write down his notes. I couldn’t help but shiver ever so slightly.

“I don’t know how you do it sometimes and keep your outlook so up,” I offered matter of factually before turning the page in my current book. Mercedes Lackey was one of the writers that captivated me even with the world going on around me. I knew her world of Valdemar so well I could see it when my eyes closed if I so chose. It was a good book series to be reading when I knew there was possibility of distractions in my life. And by distractions I meant Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Well I balance it out by reading,” Spencer replied as he motioned towards my book. I caught his hand movement out of the corner of my eye as I was still reading, I was in a really good part so I kept my eyes down.

“And also with magic!” Spencer replied happily. It might have been the word _magic_ and it might have been the joy I heard in his voice, or maybe a combination of the two. But whatever it was I looked up to stare at Spencer, my proverbial jaw on the floor.

“Magic?” I asked questioningly.

“Well I am from Vegas, so I believe magic is in my blood. It’s one of my favorite things,” Spencer added with a crinkle of his eyes as he hid a smile.

“Well Spence, the things I learn about you,” I chuckled as I closed my book and placed it in my lap.

“And not just any magic, my favorite is physics magic!” Spencer exclaimed.

“Physics magic?” I asked with a raised brow.

“Here, let me show. But you have to turn around first,” Spencer answered in a rush.

“Alright,” I answered as I turned to accommodate his wishes. I listened as Spencer fiddled around behind me. I heard containers opening, things dropping and pouring. It was all very mysterious.

“Alright turn around quickly!” Spencer called out finally.

I did as I asked only to be greeted by the sight of Spencer looking down at something on a small stool table he had put between us. On the center of the table there was what looked like an old film canister, the kind film came in before everything sadly turned to digital. It was upside down and bubbling around where the cap clicked on. Reid was making a silly concentration face as he wiggled his fingers at the fizzing and bubbling contraption.

“Spence what’s-”

“Shh, shh! Watch! Abraaaa-CADABRA!” Reid gestures wildly and as if directly on cue the black film canister shot crazily into the air with a pop, off into some random direction. I whooped and applauded frantically as Spencer jokingly bowed in his chair, his hair falling into his face as he looked up at me and grinned the largest grin I had ever seen on a human being.

“Oh bravo! Bravo! That was _**magnificent**_! Splendid! Magician Reid!” I cheered happily as I continued to applaud. 

“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week,” Spencer answered with a wink. I felt a tinge of color stain my cheeks at that wink. It wasn’t sultry or seductive in nature, but there was just something about it, in all it’s fleeting glory, that made me blush ever so slightly.

“Well after that show what could we even possibly do on our date tomorrow?” I joked with a laugh as I sat back in my chair as I mentally went over possible chemical reactions that could have sent that canister flying like that.

“I-I, I actually have a few ideas. But if you’re willing to wait and be surprised tomorrow I’d appreciate it so I have some time to finalize everything,” Spencer stammered.

“Sure, sure. No probs. We meet here or where? How should I dress?” I listed off as I opened by book again but didn’t quite look at it.

“Dress?” Spencer asked me quizzically.

“Yeah. How should I dress. What should I wear? Ball gown? Scuba suit? Astronaut thingy? What?” I asked teasingly. It was a little endearing that Spencer was so baffled by all of this. Even I who did not really date knew these things, and I didn’t think it was just because I was a girl.

“Uhh normal clothes is fine. And we can meet here. At like three maybe?” Spencer supplied softly.

“Sounds good to me,” I replied before reaching out and pulling an errant strand of hair off of Spencer’s face. I was very careful so as to not actually touch him but I couldn’t resist the urge to move it. It had been about a month or so since I had touched him and I didn’t want to break that barrier he had, in case it was one of those things he really only broke under times of duress. But I wanted to. I had ghosting memories of what his skin felt like and I badly wanted to reassure myself that it hadn’t all been a dream. I had never wanted something so bad in my entire life. Just a reassurance that I knew what his skin really felt like. I almost forgot how to breathe when Spencer moved his head ever so slightly towards the touch of my hand, causing my fingertips to graze his skin for the barest, briefest of moments. I opened my mouth to say something but was saved by the sound of his phone going off.

“Tomorrow then?” I asked with a side smile as I retracted my hand hastily and picked my forgotten book back up as Spencer reached for his phone.

“Tomorrow,” Spencer replied after he checked his phone message.

“Bye,” I spoke allowed as he stood and gathered his things, our short time together at the cafe now broken by the needs of his job.

“Bye,” Spencer replied softly before jetting out of the cafe as if his heels were on fire.

“Silly boy,” I said aloud to myself as I continued my adventure full of Companions and Heralds, trying to force myself to forget the fleeting feel of cool smooth skin beneath my fingertips.

“I’m so screwed,” I whispered softly to my book as I turned a page.

**-xXx-**

I fumbled about in front of my mirror as I twisted and turned, this way and that, as I scrutinized my reflection. It was almost 2:30 and I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to wear. Spencer had said normal clothes, whatever the hell _that_ meant! I had settled on striped tights that alternated black stripes with “see through” stripes, black jean shorts, bright teal Doc Martens and a giant natural wool cable knit sweater that was clearly intended for someone three times my size. I looked at myself for the hundredth time before deciding that this was gonna have to do if I didn’t want to be late. Quick quick like a bunny I threw my hair up into a ponytail, showcasing the black hidden underneath all the white and slapdashed some makeup onto my face before calling myself done. 

I grabbed my bag as I was headed out the door just in time to hear my phone inside it ringing. Stopping on my front top step I dug inside my bag until I found my phone. Spencer was calling.

“Hey,” I answered as I held the phone with my shoulder as I dug my keys out of my purse next.

“Marian?” Spencer asked on his end.

“Of course Spence, who else would it be?” I scoffed as I took out my keys and made my way down my steps towards where my car was parked.

“I’ve got to cancel tonight. My team is flying out to Chicago as we speak. Morgan has been accused of murder and we’ve got to go out and clear him,” Spencer rushed out as an explanation.

“Oh my god! That’s horrible! Good luck! Text me what happens or when you get back!” I gushed quickly at Spencer’s date cancellation explanation. Morgan. Murder? Never. I didn’t even personally know him, I only knew of him from Spencer. And there was no way the Morgan I knew through Spencer’s eyes could _ever_ be a murderer.

With a stammered goodbye Spencer hung up on his end of the phone, leaving me standing on my front steps dressed and ready for my first date in forever.

“Well fuck,” I swore aloud as I looked around as if my surroundings would supply me with an answer to a question I hadn’t asked yet because I didn’t know what it was. My eyes scanned around until they settled on the keys still in my outstretched hand. I decided that since I was all dressed up I might as well continue my day and do something instead of go back inside and crawl into bed. It’s not like Spencer and I were dating or together, and something like one of your friends and teammates being accused of murder was a pretty legit reason to call off a date. Especially when you were an FBI agent. Exhaling slowly I made my way down my steps and towards my car, destination still unclear in my mind when I got behind the wheel. But those were my favorite kind of days, favorite kind of car trips; when I had no set destination in mind and just let the road take me. Besides, endless driving took my mind off of things. Like failed first dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything I write is for you amazing people out there reading.  
> I love bringing something to you that you enjoy.  
> But SPECIFICALLY this chapter is for AliyahKing here on AO3.  
> Just because she is amazing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“He’s really that famous?” I asked in awe as I shoveled another fry into my mouth. Spencer had returned home from another case, a big one after he had come home safely from Chicago and the debacle with Morgan. He still smelled like the desert even though he had been home for a few days. We were out eating lunch on his first real day off since this last case. We had decided on a small local burger joint that had _**the**_ best fries on the eastern seaboard when Spencer’s stomach had growled so loudly inside the cafe I was pretty sure my bakers had heard it. He was filling me in on the case details that he was legally allowed to as I shoveled fry after fry in my mouth. I was totally entrapped by his current story, about the complete lack of humanity this latest _unsub_ had. The first time I had referred to one of Spencer’s “bad guys” as an unsub he had grinned at me so foolishly, I think he was still secretly hoping I would one day wake up and join him at the BAU.

“Yeah he is, he’s one of the most prolific serial killers to date. He’s been killing people for thirty some odd years at this point. It’s really quite impressive to be a part of the team that brought someone this infamous down. I mean everything we do is important. But the I-80 killer? That’s not just some run of the mill unsub, I’ll go down in history books so to speak!” Spencer cheered happily as he stabbed a fry into his half melted vanilla malt.

“I’ll never understand that,” I shuddered as I pulled my order of french fries closer to myself.

“Understand what?” Spencer asked as he popped a malt covered french fry into his mouth.

“That!” I replied as I gestured at his mouth as the weird and foul combination was chewed up, erasing all evidence of my problem until he reached for another fry.

“What? Oh you mean this?” Spencer asked as he dipped his newest fry into his vanilla malt again, doing it extra slowly as if to prolong my pain. I shuddered again in response.

“Those poor helpless fries! How could you _do_ that to them? Horrifying!” I gasped as I put protective arms around my fries. Spencer chuckled softly in his chest as he ate that fry before going for another.

“Mmmm…” Spencer drawled out as he ever so slowly swept a new fry through the top of his malt, swirling it around and around before lifting it up. Malt was piled high on top of the fry.

“If not for the sake of the poor french fry or your taste buds, at least think of your poor malt. How do you think it feels being used such? All that salt being deposited into itself. Horrendous!” I stated proudly as I gestured my hand erratically at Spencer’s tall metal malt cup.

“Want to try it?” Spencer asked as he held out the horrible fry and malt combo towards me.

“No,” I stated bruskly.

“Come on,” Spencer urged.

“No,” I replied the same.

“Come on. You know you want to. You can’t knock it until you try it,” Spencer teased as he wiggled the fry at me. The malt was coming dangerously close to toppling off and onto my poor untainted fries in the circle of my protective arms.

“No.”

“Do it.”

“NO!”

“Do it and I’ll take you out to dinner tonight to meet my team!” Spencer counter argued.

With a defeated sigh I opened up my mouth so he could put the fry in, I wasn’t going to touch the evil thing! I closed my eyes as I waited for the foul concoction to touch my tongue but instead felt a jab of cold and wet hit my left cheek. As my eyes flew open I was greeted by the face of Spencer Reid trying his damndest from laughing, and it was causing a myriad of things to flash across his face as he screwed it up tight. I merely glared at him as I pointed forcibly at my mouth in case he needed a reminder. His aim the second time, as I watched, was better as it was set on a straight course. I closed my eyes at the last minute so I wouldn’t have to see it happen only to feel the same cold and wet sensation again. Only this time on my nose. My eyes flew open and I stared in open mouthed silent shock at Spencer, utterly shocked silent by his joking. Spencer was normally so reserved, well not reserved but more like emotionally contained and restrained. Even more so when in public. As I continued to stare in silent shock I saw Spencer start to twitch.

“I’m-I’m sorry. I did-didn’t mean to. I thought it would be okay. I’m sorry,” Spencer stuttered before putting the french fry in his mouth and nervously cleaning his area on the table. Knowing Spencer was hard to convince when it came to telling him he did nothing wrong in a certain situation I did the only thing I could think to do. I dipped my finger into his malt and reached across the chasm between the two of us and splatted a dollop right on his very own nose. That stopped Spencer dead in his nervous cleaning and fidgeting spree.

“Hey!” Spencer looked up at me in shock. I simply grinned evilly back at him.

“Payback's a bitch,” I replied cheekily, popping the last word for emphasis before placing my finger still coated in malt into my mouth to clean it off. I watched as Spencer’s pupils started to grow in size as he focused his gaze lower on my face. At first I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he was staring at so transfixed like until I remembered I was sucking leftover malt off my finger. I didn’t think I was being sexy as I was doing it, but apparently Spencer thought differently. As my finger left my mouth I decided to tease him just a _little_ bit so I created just enough suction that pulling my finger out of my mouth created a ‘popping’ noise and was rewarded by watching his pupils dilating even more as he swallowed with some difficulty. 

“So dinner tonight with your team?” I asked with a fake nonchalance after a few moments of silence as Spencer continued to stare at my mouth. That questioned seemed to snap him out of it almost immediately as his eyes shot back to normal right before his head dropped down and slammed onto the table top creating a loud smack sound.

“Oh I was kidding Spencer! I don’t have to meet your team tonight for dinner!” I sputtered out quickly, thinking that maybe he actually hadn’t been serious when he had said it earlier.

“No. You do. I had just temporarily forgotten that I had said that,” Spencer replied from the table top, his head still pressed against it.

“I was only teasing. I don’t have to go,” I answered in hope to ease some of his anxiety.

“No. You do. You need to meet them. I _want_ you to meet them. I was just hoping to keep you to myself for a little while longer is all. But we don’t get many opportunities like this very often so it’s better to take it while we can. Soon you’ll be so integrated into my team, my friends, that Garcia will always be over and you’ll be spending your nights out with Morgan. You’ll be drinking coffee and swapping books with Giddeon and I… I’ll just never get you all to myself ever again. I mean it’s not like we’re together, or even dating really. It’s just...” Spencer sighed without finishing his thought, resting his chin on his folded arms.

I smiled softly at Spencer. Slightly germaphobic, socially awkward, hating to be touched, shy, awkward, introverted, brilliant, capable, self deprecating Spencer.

“I know what you mean,” I answered softly as I gently tucked a lock of hair behind his ear before bringing my hand back to my lap.

“So I’ll pick you up at like seven at your place?” Spencer offered in question. I simply nodded with a half smile in reply before he slumped his head back onto his arms in defeat. Such a silly boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that last chapter was dedicated specifically to someone.  
> But I just wanted to let you ALL know that you guys give me that extra little fire under my seat when I write!  
> You guys are absolutely amazing and I love you all.  
> So here you guys go, enjoy this weeks chapter!
> 
> I do apologize for the shortness but my time has been crunched recently.  
> Longer next week I promise!  
> Cross my little writer's heart!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

Spencer had said that I didn’t need to dress up for this dinner, that it was just a group of friends getting together to relax and eat. Yeah. Sure. For _him_ that’s all it was but for me it was something completely different. I didn’t do the best with meeting new people, I tended to have a prickly outside if I ever even got passed my usual avoidance mode. I was guarded and reserved when around new people, ever conscious of how my eyes made people react. Especially in situations like this when I was going to have to be around these people for longer than a few moments of awkward passing and gawking. Just because I was comfortable with how I looked didn’t mean I particularly cared to be around people for long periods of time as they came to grips with how my heterochromia made them feel and act.

I sighed at my reflection for the umpteenth billion time. I just couldn’t figure out what to wear for tonight’s event. Relaxed. Sure. Got it. But I wanted to look nice. Especially since Spencer and I already looked worlds different on a day to day basis and I was assuming his friends and coworkers were expecting someone who looked like him to show up. And while I figured it was cruel to lie to them about who I was normally I figured my full ‘me’ regalia might be pushing it. I lifted another article of clothing up to my chest to look it over, only to sigh once again. Nothing was looking right.

About forty or so minutes later, with only fifteen minutes until Spencer was to pick me up, I finally decided on something to wear. I threw on my black dress that was covered in white polkadots about the size of the bottom of a soda can, pulled on my striped tights I was going to wear on our failed date night. I went with my teal Doc Martens for my feet, a bright yellow shiny vinyl belt for around my waist and decided to leave my hair down so I could wear my black bowler hat. As I stomped my boots on awkwardly I ran a brush through my hair and I sniffed my pits, double checking that I didn’t need a shower. Course at this point if I needed one I was gonna be shit out of luck as Spencer was anything if prompt and I had like seven minutes till my doorbell rang. His promptness led me to believe he was _really_ telling the truth about how he didn’t know much about women. With one last hard stomp I got my last boot on, untied but on, before leaned over my sink so I could scramble some sort of makeup on my face so I didn’t go out looking like a tired bum.

I was spitting into the sink and rinsing off my toothbrush when I heard a knock at my door. Perfectly on time as always. I knocked my toothbrush on the side of the sink before sticking my head out of my bathroom.

“It’s unlocked Spence!” I shouted through my condo, hoping he’d hear me. Which apparently he did as I heard my door creak open followed by footsteps in.

“You know an estimated 3.7 million home burglaries happen every year. And 28% of those occur with the person being burgled still being at home,” Spencer announced as he walked through my living room.

“Comforting Spence!” I called out as applied lipstick hurriedly.

“You’re the one who left their front door unlocked and invited in the person who just happened to knock,” Spencer answered in response. I could hear the shrug of his shoulders in his voice as I rolled my eyes at my reflection before smiling.

“Lucky for me you’re more punctual than the second hand on a clock,” I teased as I remembered to take my lipstick with me so I could put it in my purse.

“Ta-da! So what do you think?” I asked as I came out to where Spencer was standing.

“Whoa,” was all Spencer uttered.

“Too formal? Too me? Am I going to freak them out?” I asked at top speed, worried I had in fact picked a horribly wrong outfit.

“No! No, no it’s-it’s perfect actually. I feel kinda out dressed,” Spencer replied, the last part coming out almost as a mumble as he futzed with the hem of his clothes. With a roll of my eyes I approached Spencer, once again taking privileges with his personal space so I could stop his hands from worrying the edge of his sweater vest.

“Spence, you look just fine. You look just like _you_ and that’s just perfect. Your friends know you, they love you, and they expect you to come as you are. For you this is just another group dinner. I on the other hand am the wild card of the night that could make or break this whole food thing,” I supplied as I smoothed out the edges of his sweat vest, brushing out nonexistent wrinkles up his chest towards the collar. My hands were on his tie, giving it a little straighten before I stopped mid motion as I finally realized what I was doing. I let go of the tie immediately, hands flinching as if it burned like fire.

“Sorry,” I managed to mumble out as I took a step back and looked at Spencer. He was still looking down, eyes focused on where my hands had been moments earlier, a small ghost of a bewildered smile on his face. He looked confused. Or something. It was a strange facial expression I couldn’t quite place, not just because it was Spencer but because I just didn’t recognize it.

“Let me just grab my purse and I’ll be ready to go,” I exclaimed quickly as I spun on my heel to run after my purse for the night, forgetting my last boot was still untied until I stepped on the longest lace. The klutz move sent me hurdling towards the floor but I caught myself with a nearby coffee table before I made a fool of myself even more. Pausing to hop on one foot I tied my errant laces before going back to my task at hand. As I got to my black vinyl purse that was shaped like a pair of lips I made sure all my basic essentials were inside before sticking in my pink nude lipstick and calling myself done.

“One car or two?” I called out towards Spencer who was still standing near my bathroom I realized when I turned to find him when he initially didn’t respond.

“Spence?” I called out in question when he still didn’t respond. His nickname seemed to break his temporary spell.

“Huh?” Spencer asked with a hapless shake of his head as if to clear his mind as he turned to look at me.

“One car or two?” I repeated my earlier question.

“We can just take one car. Mine would make the most sense as I know the way,” Spencer answered with a simple shrug once he had pulled himself back together.

“Perfect. Then shall we?” I asked as I stepped closer to my front door and motioned towards it like a stewardess, trying to get Spencer to crack some equivalent of a smile to hopefully break his nervousness.

“We shall,” Spencer replied as he nervously tucked his hair behind his ear.

I found myself shaking my head ever so slightly as I followed Spencer out of my condo, locking the door behind the two of us.

**-xXx-**

The whole car ride Spencer kept tucking his hair behind his ears every time his car came to a stop and he could take his hands off the wheel. Because Spencer was not the kind of person to drive with only one hand on the wheel, oh no. I kept myself from sighing outwardly, but only just barely. As we pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant I found myself exhaling as if I hadn’t let out a single breath this entire car trip, how nervous I really was was finally hitting me now that we were here. New people? Spencer’s people? Was I ready for this? I guess I didn’t have much of a choice as Spencer pulled the keys out of the ignition.

“Nervous?” Spencer asked from the driver’s side, still buckled into his seat belt.

“Yeah. You?” I answered in question as I took mine off. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and the seat belt wasn’t helping.

“Yeah,” Spencer answered after a moment of consideration.

“Well then by my current logic our two nervousnesses cancel each other out. So we are by fault not nervous anymore!” I exclaimed rather proudly.

“ _Nervousnesses_ isn’t a word,” Spencer corrected, not once tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Pfft. Whatever. It is for tonight,” I joshed as I started to get out of the car. I was hoping that by keeping Spencer from falling into his nerves I too would keep afloat above them. So far, so good. I waited for Spencer to join me on the sidewalk that led into the restaurant as he locked the car. Spencer came and stood next to me, his nerves getting the better of him as he tucked his hair behind his ears.

“Hey,” I said softly as I took hold of his hand hanging by his side and gave it a soft squeeze before gesturing towards the restaurant with my head in a silent signal. With a nod Spencer turned towards the restaurant and began walking towards the front door, but instead of letting go of my hand he simply clutched it a little tighter.

“Welcome to Adagio! Just the two of you?” a hostess bounced at us as soon as we crested through the inside doors. There was no other word for how she spoke, she definitely bounced the question at us.

“No we’re mee-”

“REEEID!” a loud voice called out to our right, cutting Spencer off mid explanation. Spencer immediately let go of my hand as if it had stung him.

A loudly dressed voluptuous blonde came out of a blind spot with her arms open, beelining directly for Spencer. I expected him to shy away, a cautious step back. Something. Instead he stood his ground and allowed the blonde to envelope him in a hug.

_“Garcia”_

“Garcia,” Spencer greeted the blonde at the same time as I thought it. Spencer had regaled me with many stories of his friends and coworkers, giving me a Profiler’s look into them without having met them. And the person wrapping their arms around an awkwardly stiff standing Spencer could only be Garcia, the team’s tech analyst.

“Ohmygoodness aren’t you pretty! Who are you? I didn’t know Reid was bringing someone else? Are you guys dating? Oh I love your purse! And your shoes! How come you never told us you had a girlfriend Reid?” Garcia fired off, finally turning her barrage of questions towards Spencer.

“No, we’re just-”

“You’re the reason Spencer has been finishing his paperwork so promptly at the end of the day and skipping his first cup of coffee at work in the morning because he has a to go cup,” a statuesque African American male supplied with a know it all chuckle as he came into the foyer where we were still standing.

“-friends,” I finished my earlier statement with an exasperated sigh and slight roll of my eyes. The man who interrupted me could only be Agent Derek Morgan.

“Suuure…” the man I had labeled as Derek Morgan drawled out.

“Ohmygoodness I love your contacts!” Garcia squeed as I finished rolling my eyes a second time at Derek. I felt Spencer tense beside me, maybe not physically visibly to his friends and partners but I felt it. He was nervous about my reaction as he knew how I felt about my eyes.

“Actually, they’re not contacts,” I started to explain to the now perplexed looking Penelope Garcia.

“Heterochromia. It’s a rare and beautiful find,” a smooth but gravelly voice spoke evenly as an older man in a soft looking flannel shirt came through the crowd building around Spencer and I. The man’s eyes crinkled beautifully around his eyes that sparkled at me as he took my hand in his own and brought it to his lips to kiss it.

“Nature took great care to make you so special in all the world. It’s a pleasure to be able to meet someone so rare,” the man my mind labeled as Jason Gideon said as he continued to gently hold my hand. I smiled my signature half smile at the man who was Spencer’s mentor as he let go of my hand.

“Wait so your eyes are _naturally_ like that? Oh that is so(i) cool, I am so jealous!” Garcia cheered with a gleeful clap of her hands.

“Hotchner party? Your table is ready if you’d all follow me please,” a waitress announced, interrupting any more exclamations over my eyes. As a whole the six people surrounding Spencer and I turned on their heels and followed after the waitress. I waited a breath or two as everyone walked on as it seemed Spencer was frozen stiff in his spot, rigid like a plank of wood. I gently bumped him with my hip to get his attention and it seemed to work as he let a small but audible breath escape his slightly pursed lips.

“I thought it went well,” I offered so as to possibly appease whatever storm was raging inside of Spencer. He simply answered with a sound that was half doubtful affirmation and half squeak before moving his body and following after his friends with me in tow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm horrible for this cliffhanger aren't I?  
> I apologize.  
> Kind of.  
> Ha!
> 
> This goes out to all of you!  
> All of you who patiently (or not so patiently) waited for me to post this!  
> Sorry for the few day delay, but hey... life happens.  
> Even when all I want to do is pulverize all these lemons it threw at me this week I still managed to eek out a chapter for you all!
> 
> Is it slightly filler-ish?  
> Probably.  
> And for that I apologize.
> 
> And I just wanted to say an extra special thank you to everyone who has commented.  
> Logging on after a crappy few days to see all your amazing kind words really allowed me to breathe.  
> This is for you guys!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to apologize profusely to everyone who has been reading my story as I create it for the incredibly long wait you've all experienced.
> 
> I got a nasty virus that rendered my laptop useless and basically a giant doorstop.  
> BUT I just got it back with a clean bill of health and I have been writing and not sleeping so I could get you guys some new chapters!
> 
> I hope that these new chapters make up for it even though I know a thousand apologies and new chapters won't make up for the almost 3 weeks of waiting you've all had to do!

“Well let’s see. You spent most of your life moving around, bouncing all over. Mostly overseas. You’re a linguist not just by trade but because it’s genuinely something you love. You’re incredibly protective of people you care for, for your team even after such a short while, stemming from the fact that you grew up with no siblings and mostly absent parents,” I supplied before taking a sip of my beer.

Dinner had gone well, if you could call having Morgan grill me seven ways to Sunday as I tried to eat food while replying to his thousands questions ’well’. Though from the things I had gathered from what Spencer had told me and from observing him in person I knew this was just his way of looking out for Spencer. They were all a bit like that, though Morgan was the most upfront about it. The fierce love and protection these people had towards Spencer was incredible and I was pretty sure Spencer was oblivious to most of it. And it wasn’t even stuff that only I would notice because of how I am, it was blatant and out there for everyone to see if they only paid attention. I felt something inside me hurt that Spencer was so blind to how his team felt about him. So of course the meal was a game of a thousand questions, I was the oddity attraction for the evening. And for the first time in a long time it wasn’t because of my eyes. Apparently Spencer was more introverted than I had gauged originally, because it was being made painfully obvious that the man very rarely made new friends outside of work, let alone a female.

“Shit. That’s crazy. How did you know that stuff? Some of that isn’t stuff Spencer could have told you!” Emily Prentiss blurted out in amazement at my read of her.

“Simple really. The quality and style jewelry you wear is European, so is the fingers you wear your rings on. Earlier when we first met and through dinner you were watching the way my mouth moved when I spoke, trying to place where I came from and grew up based on how I spoke. The protectiveness was a simple judge of body language and posture, when you first met me out in the foyer you immediately tried to put yourself between me and the rest of your team,” I offered as an explanation.

“Damn,” Emily whispered loudly as she sat back into her booth, crossing her arms across her chest as she mentally tried to go over everything I had revealed to her.

“Do me next, do me!” Garcia exclaimed excitedly as she bounced in her spot tucked in next to Morgan. I couldn’t help but grin at her as I cleared my throat for a dramatic effect.

“Let’s see… even though you’ve lived out here a long time I can tell that you're from San Francisco originally, Hayes Valley to be precise. You didn’t always used to be so bright and bubbly, at least not outwardly. A bit of a goth I’d say. You have four brothers and in your spare time you’re a gamer. And while you prefer PC gaming you also play console games,” I finished with a smile.

“Wooow…” Garcia drawled out as she blinked her large eyes at me.

“How did you figure all that out?” JJ asked from her spot on my right side, I had already read her earlier during the appetizers after Spencer had initially let it slip of my little trick. Apparently no one knew that she was ambidextrous, from practice not from birth. 

“Well there’s a distinct San Fran accent still hidden underneath the speech patterns of the Garcia you know and love-” I started to explain before Elle sat forward and interrupted.

“Yeah but how did you know what area of San Francisco? I couldn’t even tell you that!” Emily exasperated in awe.

“I spent a summer out there once and there are certain words different areas of San Francisco say differently, so it was luck really that Garcia happened to say a few. As for the rest, well from how she acts around the rest of you guys. Her own body language and her interactions with each of you, she obviously comes from a large family. It’s why she is so comfortable with all of you, it was something she was already used to. Obviously many siblings, her attitude and outlook scream lots of brothers. I knew it was four simply because I asked Spencer once how many exactly. So cat’s out of the bag on that one,” I offered as a joke.

“But the gaming? My preferences?” Garcia stuttered.

“Calluses. On your hands. You don’t get calluses and marks like those on your hands from just being a hacker or in front of a computer all day. There are only some calluses you get with playing video games, plus your fingers are constantly moving so you’re used to using them all the time. Your hand rests on the table as if it was holding or using a mouse and earlier you most definitely tapped out the sequence- _up_ , _up_ , _down_ , _down_ , _left_ , _right_ , _left_ , _right_ , _B_ , _A_ , _start_. From Contra if I remember correctly,” I replied with a crinkle of my nose and a wink at Garcia who just sat and stared at me flabbergasted.

“I bet you couldn’t read Gideon!” Emily challenged as she sat up and signaled to our waitress for another round of drinks.

“Hmm,” I hummed in thought as I looked over at the older gentleman where he sat at the head of our long booth table, his chair next to Hotchner’s.

“Protective father figure of the group, even though he’s not the lead. Slightly forgetful, not from age but because your mind is always going and never stops. You avoid tech almost as much as Spencer does and you take a great joy in writing letters. You love books as much as Spencer and I do,” I stated with a soft half smile as I felt my eyes crinkle as if to mirror Gideon’s as he smiled back at me in return.

“How-” JJ opened her mouth but was cut off.

“My seat at the head of the table, sharing it with Hotch but taking a chair that sits slightly lower than his. My hand on JJ’s back as we made our way here earlier when we were being seated. The calluses on my hands from constantly holding a writing utensil, something built up over years of writing long hand and not typing on a computer. I also have layers of ink and pencil lead embedded into my hands, more so than would accumulate just by taking notes for work,” Gideon replied for me in answer to JJ’s unasked question. He paused a moment as he pat himself down in random places before continuing.   
“My pocket is worn in places in the shape of a pair of glasses even though none are currently in it. There is a pair on my head though and a pair hanging from my buttons as well. Though what specifically gave away about my love of books? My language? Use of certain words? Or did Spencer just happen to tell you that as well?” Gideon asked with a hint of mischief.

“You smell like literature,” I chuckled at the absurdity of my answer and to cover my slight embarrassment I felt about giving it. The alcohol I had consumed and just the sheer energy these people gave off had loosened my muscles and lowered my walls, and so I found myself answering questions with answers I wouldn’t normally give. My chuckles were joined by a loud outburst of laughter from Gideon and I realized I enjoyed the sound, a sound I was guessing didn’t come out to play very often if I was judging the looks on the faces of everyone sitting around me. Even Hotchner’s eyes had widened at the sound followed by the slightest raise of the corner of his mouth as he turned to look at me.

**_-xXx-_ **

“He really gave you a first addition?” Garcia gushed as I helped her walk out to Morgan’s waiting car.

Dinner had gone better than I had expected, much better than Spencer had expected if the loopy look to his face was any indication. Of course it could partially be from the amounts of alcohol pumping through his system, but I knew that it wasn’t the entire reason. We had stayed long after dinner and desserts had finished, continuing our conversations over a steady flow of drinks. It had been a relaxing environment once it had been established that I was not a threatening party in Spencer’s life. Though I was pretty sure most of the group were going to go home and scratch their heads over me for a while, trying to figure out what exactly my relationship with Spencer was. And when any of them figured it out I was hoping that they’d tell me.

“He did indeed,” I replied with a half smile as I deposited the wild blonde into the flashy sports car that Morgan owned.

“You know mama, one of these nights when we’re free I’m gonna take you out to the club! Have you use your special powers on the many women that find their way into my life. Find me the one that won’t rob me blind in the middle of the night!” Morgan chuckled as he approached his car.

“You’ve got one of those in the passenger seat of your car right now,” I chuckled as I closed the door on Garcia. “But I’ll take you up on that offer regardless!” I continued with another chuckle.

“Huh,” Morgan huffed in contemplation as he proceeded to get into his car without replying. I continued to chuckle as I made my way back towards the front of the restaurant where everyone else was milling about, saying their personal goodbyes to each other. I stopped a moment, partially hidden by the shadows so I could watch them unnoticed. They all stood at ease with each other, bodies relaxed and faces covered in smiles as they joked with one another. It was a thing of beauty to behold and I only felt a little intrusive as if I watched something I shouldn’t be privy to, this special moment between colleagues and friends that seemed so rare. 

“Mari!” Spencer’s voice rang out as I watched him wave me over out of the shadows. I cracked a half smile as I went to where I was beckoned, joining the laughing smiling ranks.

“I was just telling Reid that if you ever get bored you could always join the FBI and BAU. We could do nothing but flourish with a mind like yours in our group. Or at least be a consultant should you ever get the time,” Hotchner supplied with the tiniest of upward twitches at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh yes, because most sane people find themselves craving to help the BAU solve ghastly crimes to cure their boredom Agent Hotchner,” I found myself chuckling in response, knowing Spencer’s boss’ offer to only be partially serious. “But I shall keep that lovely offer in mind, and know that should I be able to be of any help you have only to ask,” I finished with a partial bow.

“You can call me Hotch Marian, as Agent Hotchner seems awfully formal for a _friend_ of Reid’s that he care so greatly for. And with that I need to be off, it was a pleasure to meet you Mirian. Enjoy your weekend off everyone,” Hotch said with a slight nod of his head before turning on his heel and making his way towards what I could only assume to be the direction of his car. Only someone like Agen… Hotch could go through a night like tonight and end it on such a formal yet informal way. It was like I felt like his friend, or at least his colleague at yet at the same time I was very much aware that he was in charge of all things. I wondered how much it would take for him to really loosen up.

“So I hear Reid gave you a certain first addition that has been on his bookshelf for many years, no matter how often I offered to pay him it’s worth for it,” Gideon said with a voice that seemed barely able to contain it’s mirth as he slid an arm around my shoulders and turned me towards where Spencer’s car was parked.

“You offered to _pay_ him for it?” I gulped in shock.

“Quite a few times in fact,” Gideon chuckled as he led me away. It was strange the comfort I felt around him, a sense of ‘same-ness’ about him resonated with something inside me. Or maybe it was the way he treated me, exactly like everyone else. But also like we had known one another for years instead of just hours. Or maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled at the corners which did a bit to distract from the obvious power and fierceness behind them. Or quite possibly it could be a combination of all of those things, rolled neatly into the package that was Jason Gideon. Intellect, father figure, mentor, fierce protector of the weak and hunter of the evil. But all of that paled momentarily in comparison temporarily to the fact that he had in fact offered to pay Spencer, face value, for the rare book he had simply handed over to me just to make me look up from my book and look at him.

“I can’t believe he turned you down,” I answered dumbfounded.

“Well he always seemed preoccupied when I offered. He always seemed to have something in mind for the book even if he didn’t know what at the time. And it seems I was right, as it’s now yours. A good home if I do say so myself,” Gideon offered with a chuckle and a pat on my shoulder. I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off by a loud shout of my name from back at the front of the restaurant.

“Marian! Mari!” 

I turned back towards the restaurant to face the remaining members of Spencer’s team, Spencer included.

“I was just wondering… Well the annual Super Bowl party was going to be held at my place this year but something is wrong with the sewage in my neighborhood. And well, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if we superimposed on you and had it at your place? I know it’s short notice but everyone else’s place just won’t work this year! Would you mind? Do you even watch football?” JJ called out, sounding a bit worried as she got near to the end of her barrage of questions.

“I do indeed watch football, most ardently. And I’d love to have it at my place, as long as you all know that I _really_ get into the Super Bowl. I mean face paint, unwashed lucky jersey and the whole nine yards!” I called back in response

“Perfect! And if you think that would worry us… wait until you see Hotch!” JJ called back in response with a wave before she linked arms with Emily and went off towards some sort of transportation home. I said my goodbyes to Gideon as Spencer made his way towards where I was standing by the driver’s side, I was sober enough to drive and wasn’t taking any chances with tonight ending horribly.

“So, how do you think it went?” I asked cheekily as Spencer swayed his was closer to me. Not swayed in a sense that he was plastered, more like swayed as if he was extremely happy and loose all over. Just sort of letting his body go with each step he took towards me, lost in the moment.

“I thought you were brilliant,” Spencer said with a half smile as he stood directly in front of me, not even a foot left between us.

“One of these days I shall get to see what you look like when you really smile,” I said softly as I let a finger reach out and trace up his half smile and extend its trace into his cheek as if drawing on a full smile.

“Maybe one day,” Spencer offered awkwardly as if suddenly finding himself nervous.

“So I’m driving back to my place as you’re in no shape to drive. And as it’s late and I technically don’t know where you live I figure you can crash at my place or at least sober up there. Alright?” I asked, or more like demanded, as I snaked my hand into the front pocket of Spencer’s pants and fished out the car keys. I may or may not have taken more time than necessary while in his pocket, as his keys were the only thing in there, but I was fully ready to blame it on the alcohol should it come up in discussion. I watched Spencer’s eyelids flutter closed ever so slightly and realized that I was probably safe on having to explain my actions later on.

“Come on, let’s go back to my place,” I whispered before unlocking the car and dropping myself in so I could collect myself as I adjusted the seat for my height and waited for Spencer to get in on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, eh, eh???  
> Hope this was a fun chapter for you guys!!!  
> A bit more of her getting to meet the rest of the entire team!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that virus I got? And how I thought I got it all nice and taken care of?  
> Well I didn't. Whatever the problem was they didn't fully fix it so in the end my laptop died.  
> Like fried died, more useless than a doorstop type of died.  
> And I didn't have the spare cash to buy a new one, until very recently.  
> So I hope that I haven't damaged your faith in me entirely!  
> Because I'm back baby!!!
> 
> *WARNING*  
> This chapter DOES contain smut.  
> But not in the sense you'd think. Kind of?  
> You'll see as you read!  
> So I'm sorry in advance if smut is not something you like to read!

“Ooomph! Ohmygod Spencer… Ahhh!” I laughed as our combined bodies fumbled up the steps to my condo. Spencer’s usual grace seemed to have left him at this point of the evening, he had tripped over his own feet and fallen _upwards_ of all things. He had collided with my backside and it took all my own inner grace to catch him and make sure the two of us didn’t both fall.

“I think one of my shoes may have come untied,” Spencer answered sheepishly, his head under my armpit with his face buried in my rib cage.

“Oh sure, blame it on the poor hapless, defenseless shoe laces. I’m going to blame it on the alcohol. You drunk clutz,” I teased as I untangled him from me so I could put my keys in the door.

“How do you make your clothes smell like lemons?” Spencer asked as he leaned back into me and sniffed my shoulder blade of all places.

“Magic? Probably because my body wash and shampoo is lemon. And I make my own dryer packets that contain lemon. Spence are you sniffing my spine?” I asked as I kicked my door open but refrained from stepping in for fear of having Spencer fall flat on his face.

“Well it’s better than smelling your butt is it not?” Spencer asked as he stood and straightened himself.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re fairly odd Spence?” I asked as I bent and untied my boots so I could wiggle out of them and kick them across the room.

“She shoots, she scooores!” I called out with a laugh, my arms raised above my head as if I had just made a touchdown as my boots bounced against a far wall.

“I don’t understand you sometimes. Not one bit,” Spencer mulled aloud as he sat down on the back of my couch, arms folded against his chest.

“I am afraid I don’t know what you mean,” I replied as I spun in a circle, tossing my bowler hat in random a direction.

“You. You’re incredibly intelligent, highly educated. You love books and movies. And then you flip it all around and like sports and clubbing. And I fear you may fit in better with my friends then with me. You’re like an enigma,” Spencer listed off.

“Wrapped in a riddle surrounded by mystery,” I finished off for him as I flopped down onto my couch in a muscle-less heap.

“See? You are even able to finish my sentences. Or at least are able to get or understand my references enough to end them. You claim to be anti social, or rude, and yet you melded with my group of peers as if you had known them for years. I just don’t understand it is all,” Spencer explained with a sigh as he walked around the couch to stand in front of it off to my left.

“I am anti social. And rude. Quite rude. A large part of how tonight went was because of who your friends are, they are quite a welcoming and warm bunch once you get passed their defensive protective exteriors. And the other part of why tonight went so well was you. You regaled me with stories and adventures of your friends. Told me all about them so I felt like I knew them long before I met them in person. And you yourself, you carry a little piece of each of them in you. So meeting them was just like getting to meet a larger version of you. Does any of that make any sense?” I asked as I counted off the various points of my arguments on my fingers.

“Kind of. I think. Which scares me immensely. More so than I could tell you. I mean it scares me a lot,” Spencer answered he stepped closer to me, but still off to my left, as he looked down at me.

_“Well I don’t know how much I can do about all that at the moment. But I think I can do something to alleviate some of your fear,” I said slyly as I looped my fingers into each of Spencer’s front pants pockets. With one swift tug I had Spencer tumbling down onto the couch beside me, and as he rearranged himself I slid off of it onto my knees. With a squiggle and an awkward side step movement on my knees I got myself where I wanted, directly in front of Spencer and between his knees. I slowly slid my hands up his shins, over his knees and down his thighs towards his belt but stopped just shy. Slowly but with slightly more pressure I slid my hands back down his thighs towards his knees and back up again, gently massaging his thighs as I did so. Maybe this too I could blame on the alcohol when it came up later in future conversation, most definitely._

_“M-Mari-Marian… Wh-what are you doing?” Spencer stuttered above me as I continued to massage his thighs with my hands as I rubbed my cheek against the inside of one of his knees._

_“I’m baking a pie,” I snorted in response as I let my fingers graze his hip bones underneath his pants, pressing down on them just enough to send a jump of a shiver through Spencer’s body._

_“L-last time I uhm, last time I checked this was not how one baked a… a pie,” Spencer replied, continuing on with his stutter._

_“Mmm, are you sure? Because if I remember how to do this correctly, this could be a pie you would like quite a lot,” I purred as I continued to rub my cheek against the inside of his leg, inching my nose farther and farther down his thigh towards his crotch._

_“Uhm, uhh. You know… maybe. It’s... Ok. Ok,” Spencer mumbled in reply, his thought process jumbled as I finally made my main objective. I breathed out a heavy chuckle against his quite impressively tented slacks._

_“Well if you insist,” I chuckled lowly in my throat as I continued to rub my face against the growing tent in Spencer’s slacks as my hands deftly undid his belt and the top of his pants._

_I slid his pants down with a little help from Spencer when he lifted his hips up just enough so I could get them down. I left his boxers on simply because the look on his face was something I wanted to savor for as long as I could, if I could last that long that is. I slipped his pants off his legs and lazily tossed them aside, focusing my attention back on Spencer. His chest was heaving up and down rapidly, his breathing almost a pant as his completely blown pupils stared down at me as I trailed my nails up the flesh of his thighs, leaving rivers of white through red heated flesh. I let the fingernails of one of my hands leave his thighs to graze over the top of Spencer’s erection, still clad in his thin cotton boxers. If I wasn’t so entrapped by the sound of Spencer’s heavy breathing that hitched ever so often and by the heat radiating off of him I would have gleamed something from his polka dot boxers. But my brain was too occupied to care, all I cared about was the way they felt underneath my hands and against my face._

_I continued to gently palm Spencer through his boxers as he tried to restrain from bucking up against my hand. He was twitching some awful underneath my touch so I figured drastic measures were in order. Softly I pushed up the leg of his boxers on his left side and slowly moved my cheek over to his thigh, rubbing gently against it. I stuck my tongue out and deftly dragged a line across his flesh before biting down, not hard enough to leave a permanent mark but definitely hard enough to bring blood to the surface._

_“Yipes!” Spencer exclaimed as he jumped beneath me, causing me to chuckle ever so slightly._

_“Calm down Spence,” I teased as I snaked my fingers up under his boxers, tickling my fingertips closer to his erection without actually touching him._

_I dug my nails into his flesh just enough as I traced them up and out towards his hip bones. Even sitting in a position like he was his hip bones were beautifully pronounced, all glorious angles covered by delicate porcelain skin. The picture in my mind of what they would look like if he was standing before me mixed with the simple sounds he was making sent a shiver down my spine that became the proverbial straw to my camel, I broke. In one swift motion I had his boxers removed before he probably even processed what I had done. Just as swiftly I wrapped a tight hand around his shaft, lifted my body up and further between his thighs so I could engulf his erection with my mouth fully as I pressed my chest into his thighs._

_“Sweet mother of all that is holy!” Spencer called out loudly, I could hear his head hit the back of the couch loudly even though I couldn’t see it. My eyes were closed as took in the taste that was Spencer Reid and Spencer Reid alone, the feel of his velvety skin as I twisted my tongue around him. If Spencer’s mind was a turn on, this part of him was something different all together. I could hear his hands clench and unclench on the cushions of my couch and I found myself chuckling around Spencer which apparently was either the right thing to do or something Spencer had never experienced before._

_“Oh god Marian,” Spencer gasped above me._

_I opened my eyes to stare up at him through my lashes, he was looking down at me with glazed over blown pupils with his mouth partially open as he tried to even his breathing. I lifted my head off of him, sliding my lips over and off the head of his erection before motioning with my head towards his hands. Hoping he got my message I went back to what I was doing before, hollowing out my cheeks with strong suction as I kept my eyes open and trained on Spencer’s face. With visibly shaking hands Spencer lifted one hand slowly and unsurely and put it onto my head, gently weaving his fingers into my unattractive hat hair. I moaned at the feeling, at the weight of his hand resting on my head, sending vibrations from my throat down his cock and back against my tongue._

_“Sweet jesus,” Spencer moaned as he tightened his grip on my head and hair, bucking ever so slightly into my mouth._

_“I, Marian, I… I don’t know how t-to tell you this, but…” Spencer drawled out, almost so soft as to be a whisper._

_“Marian, Marian…” a soft voice whispered somewhere in the background. Part of my brain that was still conscious of the outside and surrounding world started wondering why someone was calling my name. No one else was here with us and last I heard Spencer was finding words failing him._

_“Marian… Marian?” the voice was more insistent now, clearer. And with the new clarity came the realization that it was Spencer calling my name. But why was he whispering my name from somewhere not directly in front of me? Slowly I lifted my eyes up to look him directly in the face but to my utter astonishment I found he was no longer in front of me. He was gone. Like poof! It was more than surreal, it was unnerving. I would’ve staked my life on the fact that only bare seconds ago he had been underneath me, writhing in pleasure beneath my hands and actions. What the actual fuck? Looking around I realized he was nowhere in my vicinity, and not only that but my apartment seemed oddly bare._

_“Marian, come on Marian…” Spencer’s voice spoke from somewhere far off, his tone soft but tinged with worry. Worry?_

_“Wake up…”_

_Wake up?_

_Suddenly I felt the ghosting of a gentle pressure on my shoulders, an even grip I had started to become used to pressed and gripped my shoulder and shook ever so slightly. As the pressured touch became more realistic my surroundings started to fade._

“Marian, wake up Marian,” Spencer’s voice spoke more clearly.

“Mmmrggh,” I groaned as I peeled my eyes open. Blinking several times I started to take stock of my new surroundings. I must have been asleep?

“What’s going on?” I yawned as I shifted position, finding myself on the floor in a similar position as I had been in my dream. Had it been a dream?

“You fell asleep while we were talking,” Spencer explained softly, though there seemed to be a hint of uncomfortable-ness in his tone.

“I did?” I asked foggily as I tried to remember the course of the evening.

“Yeah. After you had fallen to the floor after pulling me down onto the couch you placed your head on my - uh on my lap and we talked a bit before I heard your breathing even out and you started to snore,” Spencer explained with his own yawn.

“I do _not_ snore!” I scoffed tiredly as I uncurled my stiff limbs, trying to get some feeling back into them before I attempted standing. I didn’t find the idea of crashing ungracefully into or onto Spencer all too appealing.

“Well it wasn’t a real snore, more like a soft suction clicking in the back of your throat every few breaths or so. Do you have allergies or small sinus passageways?” Spencer asked rather clinically as he tried to soothe my assumed injured feelings.

“My sinuses are disastrously small actually,” I conceded as I stood wobbly only to fall onto the couch beside Spencer. Looking over at him I gathered that if his appearance was anything to go by he must have fallen asleep as well. What time was it anyways?

“It’s four am by the way,” Spencer answered with a yawn as if reading my mind.

“Why did you wake me? Did I give you a charlie horse or something by sleeping on your leg?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes, forgetting momentarily that I had makeup on still until I brought my hands down and saw the remnants of the nights warpaint evident on them.

“Oh, uhmm…” Spencer coughed uncomfortably before he began fidgeting next to me, his hand going up to tuck his sleep mussed hair behind his ear. I simply lifted a brow at him quizzically.

“You were - ahh, talking in your sleep. Kind of,” Spencer coughed as he tried looking anywhere but at me.

“Really now? What was I saying?” I asked with a yawn as I stretched out all my limbs, pushing Reid over as I had sat down next to him fairly close. Any closer and I would have been sitting on his lap it seemed. I let my body fall back down into place, all limp and comfortable, as Spencer righted himself.

“Uhm, well,” Spencer paused to cough. “It was more like moaning actually,” Spencer laughed nervously as he tucked some of his hair behind his ears. 

“Must have been some intense moaning if it woke you up,” I laughed with a tease as I flicked his fingers still nervously tucking his hair back.

“Uchm,” Spencer cleared his throat before continuing. “Actually it was the use of my name that woke me.”

“Ohhh. Gotchya, gotchya. I could see that as being uncomfortable. But hey you don’t know, you could’ve been murdering me in my dream. Or doing something really annoying!” I supplied as options even though I knew _exactly_ what I had been dreaming about and it was _none_ of those things!

“Ahhh yeah, no. It definitely wasn’t any of those types of things. Ha,” Spencer explained, his forced burst of a nervous laugh at the end coming out more like a cough. I should look into getting this boy some lozenges.

“Oh?” I asked softly in return, obviously getting at what he was hinting towards, as I shifted my position so I was sitting on my hip which gave me better access to Spencer. I reached out towards his chest to lazily pluck off nonexistence fuzz from his sleep mussed shirt, sleeping sitting up on the couch had caused it to come untucked and to ride up. The barest hint of his skin could be seen peeking out. But I was tired and doing my _very_ best at being good so as to not scare him away.

“Yeah,” Spencer coughed out as I continued to pick at phantom fuzz across his chest lazily. Really any excuse to be in contact with him that wasn’t going to push his buttons or boundaries. Though I did catch myself yawning as we sat in silence, my hands running across his chest and I knew we had to get some form of sleep still.

“Time for bed Spence,” I spoke finally, breaking the silence as I started to stand up from the couch. Judging him to be relaxed enough for a barrier breach I leaned in so I could press a kiss to his cheek, my hand bracing me on the back of the couch beside his head. I was caught slightly off guard when my lips came in contact not with his cheek as I had intended but with his lips instead. The part of my brain that occupied a small corner, so my body could still function while I was otherwise engaged, realized that he had changed the placement of the kiss. The rest of my brain was focusing on the fact that his lips were just as soft as I had remembered from the last time forever ago. Focusing on the fact that he somehow didn’t have “sleep breath” and partially worrying that I did. I found myself being the one to initially break through the barrier our lips had created so my tongue could trace the inside of his teeth. I found myself sinking into him, knees buckling and bending so I had to move closer to his central orbit. He was magnetic, my little genius profiler. When I felt lithe cool hands find their way around my waist, nervously attempting to unbuckle my yellow vinyl belt I realized what was going on. Breaking my lips and tongue from Spencer’s I rested my forehead against his own, my chest heaving a bit from labored breathing. He was intoxicating in incalculable ways.

“Bedtime Spence,” I breathed heavily against his lips, my eyes still closed as if that would make it easier to listen to my own words.

“Mhmm,” Spencer agreed in a noncommittal way. I kissed him one more time quickly before I stood up and took a step back. I coughed a bit as I straightened my dress and raked a hand through my hair as I tried to gather myself about myself. He wasn’t the only one who could get ruffled by another person.

Quickly I got the blanket I kept folded along with sleepwear for those nights Spencer found himself staying over my place. I tossed them at the slim man on my couch, my ears only to be greeted with a grunt as they hit him. It oddly brought a smile to my face. I approached Spencer from the back of the couch, careful not to get myself pulled into his orbit again. Gently I reached out a hand and tucked hair behind his ear as he untangled the items I had lobbed at him, only to have him lean into my soft touch. With a soft smile that he couldn’t see I brought my hand up to rake my hand through his hair from front to back, pressing my nails into his scalp in the way I had learned he liked. I was rewarded with a mixture of a groan and a moan that rumbled somewhere deep behind his glorious Adam’s apple.

“G’night Spence,” I spoke softly before detangling my hands from his hair to make my way to my own bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so hopefully you guys understood that the smut part WAS A DREAM!!!  
> Please tell me you got it!  
> I wanted a way to show how close she felt to Spencer without actually having to put them in that type of situation so "quickly" in my story.
> 
> I hope the smut wasn't too bad for those of you that don't particularly like it.  
> ALSO I hope that this length was a good one for getting back into the story.  
> I do apologize again immensely!!!  
> Love you ALL!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

“Hey Garcia could you help me a moment?” I called out as I attempted to balance way too much as I _tried_ to finagle my keys into the lock on my front door.

“Sure, sure, sure! Hold on, quit fidgeting! Let me be your exquisitely attired pack mule ma soeur!” Garcia chirped happily from behind me. I heard her exquisite yellow pleather heels click their way up my stairs and finally I could see again as bags and boxes were removed from my line of sight. With my new found freedom I finally got my front door open, kicking it open all the way I led Garcia into my home for the very first time. It was finally Superbowl, the fated day I had promised to host a party two weeks ago. A party. An honest to god _party_. I couldn’t remember the last time I had myself hosted one of these things, if at ever truth be told. So I may or may not have gone a little overboard in my celebration buying extravaganza. Now Superbowl was something I always celebrated in a big way, all out some would say, but never for anyone else other than myself. So there was a reason it was going to take two people to unload all of this.

“Wow your apartment is _incredible_! It’s so big! So, so… like artsy! I feel like I’ve walked into some type of boutique!” Garcia gaped as she took in my apartment as I walked passed her into my kitchen needing to still unload my unwieldy armful. 

“I was thinking of more hermit-chic but I like your wording better. Makes me sound more hip and less crazy!” I called out with a laugh as Garcia joined me in the kitchen to unload her own items.

“Can we compromise on artsy hermit boutique?” Garcia asked as she rooted through one of the bags.

“I can agree on that. Alright so let’s get the cold food where it needs to go and start on prepping for this party,” I stated as I started to empty one of the bags.

“How much body paint does one person need?” Garcia asked skeptically as, with maybe a tiny of fear, as she started pulling out multiple containers of it.

“Oh you have no(i) idea! Wait until you see the decorations I got for the apartment!” I offered gleefully, with maybe a manic tinge with my laugh at the end. I watched Garcia shake her head but the grin on her face spoke otherwise.

**-xXx-**

“Okay we’ve got a huge bowl of dark blue punch, which I won’t ask _how_ you got colored that way, with orange ice cubes. One tiny pathetic bowl of pale blue punch, I’m guessing you’re not much of a Colts fan, and more food than we could ever feasibly consume in an _entire_ weekend! Marian,” Garcia rambled.

“You can call me Mari, Garcia!” I called out from inside the bathroom.

“Alright, _Mari_. But I don’t know if you realize that my team is going to show up with gifts when they arrive, and as this is not only the first time they’re visiting your place but _also_ the Superbowl those gifts will more than likely be that of libations of food and drink! What are we going to do with all this food? We could feed an army!” Garcia chuckled from what sounded like my kitchen.

“An army is what we’re feeding! At least by my standards! And besides there had to be enough food to balance out the amount of decorations! Alright, now close your eyes for the big reveal!” I called out, still hidden behind the bathroom door so Garcia couldn’t see me.

When I heard her give a nonverbal response that she had understood I opened the door and stepped out. Garcia as standing in my living room, her bright yellow dress and hot pink hair a strong contrast to the Chicago Bears colored decorations I had strung liberally about, she had her hands over eyes so as to avoid the temptation of peeking before appropriate. I fluffed out my pigtails and straightened out my ridiculously huge Bears jersey and corresponding colored shorts.

“Alright, open!” I told Garcia as I held out my arms from my sides. “Ta-da!” I exclaimed loudly as her hands dropped from her eyes.

“Oh my!” Garcia gasped. I turned in a circle for her to get the hole view, fluffing my temporarily dyed pigtails- one dark navy blue and one orange.

“You, my dear, are the walking poster child for number one fan of the Chicago Bears!” Garcia laughed giddily as I finished my spin. “How did you get yourself so covered in that body paint? And so perfectly striped?” Garcia finished in question as she applauded my mini show.

“Well there’s a lot of my back that isn’t painted that the jersey covers quite nicely,” I laughed as I plucked at said jersey.

“Well people should be arriving…” Garcia started to state but was interrupted before she could finish by a loud knock at the front door.

“Is everyone on your team as eerily prompt as Spence?” I laughed as I went to answer the door, as it was my apartment it was my duty to welcome them all. Though Garcia was standing near the kitchen in full Vanna White mode, minus the beer she was holding. I was greeted by a sight that had me laughing out loud in front of my guests faces in quite an un-host like manner. There at the front of the group was what I could only assume was what was supposed to be the very prim and proper, straight laced, leader of Spence’s team- Agent Aaron Hotchner. But it couldn’t be him, not this man standing before me!

“Alas I see we are on opposing sides!” the man slathered in bright blue and white body paint all over his body, including his face like mine, with a giant horseshoe on his chest, laughed good heartedly. I couldn’t help but laugh along with him, I never would have expected this from him even with the fair warning I had received at that dinner out where I had first met them all.

“Please come in,” I spoke as I tried muffling my laughter but not my grin, stepping back and motioning for not only Hotchner but the rest of the team piled behind him to enter.

JJ and Prentiss attired in simple jerseys followed their very painted boss, followed by an equally painted Morgan though his colors matched by own. Which made sense, him being a Chicago man, anything less would be unheard of! All of four of them came bearing gifts of food with them, just as Garcia had said, each handing over their Superbowl libations so Garcia could find room for them. Next came Gideon, the fact that he was dressed in his trusty worn corduroys and a soft worn plaid flannel, loosely tucked into his waistband, didn't surprise me. Something about that made me smile, and it wasn’t just the very nice bottle of wine tucked in the crook of his arm.

“My, my aren’t you the most dashing of all hosts. It’s nice to see that you posses a wild side, equal to that of our esteemed leader it would seem,” Gideon chuckled as he took my hand for a quick kiss before heading inside my apartment. I was starting to get flushed, not from Gideon’s old fashioned ways, but more so from all the people filling my apartment. It was a big place, I knew that as I paid handsomely for it, but it had been a long since I had been around so many people in such a small private space. I felt my chest constrict a little, feeling like I was going to start hyperventilating soon. My vision started to swim a little as I breathed heavily when all of a sudden I felt a cool smooth hand slide into my own that were clenching and unclenching by my side. I opened eyes I hadn’t realized I had closed to be greeted by a side lifted half smile, one I had come recognize as I swore he never really smiled.

“Hey,” Spencer breathed softly as he encircled my fingers with his own.

“Hey,” I breathed out in reply, squeezing his hand in return.

“You know if this is a bad idea we could always vacate and head to someone else’s house like normal. I know this was sort of dumped on you last minute and while my team always has the best intentions at heart they can be a little forward and uh, intense,” Spencer offered kindly as he squeezed my hand again. It was nice, this forward show of affection towards me. It was very open, and for lack of a better word- normal. The past two weeks, since the night after the dinner meet, I had spent any and every spare moment with Spencer. Which as he was incredibly busy with being all Profiler-y and out saving the day tended to be not a whole lot. We had our mornings together at the cafe, unless he had to fly out for a case which had happened twice in those two weeks, but we also tried spending time together outside of coffee. If and when his schedule allowed. We hadn’t kissed in that time frame, not that I was expecting it, but we had been close in ways that were comfortable to the good Doctor.

“It’s okay, it was only temporary. Let’s go inside and get this party started!” I laughed as I pulled Spencer in after me.

**-xXx-**

“Have a safe drive home!” I called out as the last of my guests finally left. The party had continued long after the game had ended, my team suffering a healthy defeat at the hands of the Colts sadly. But the outcome of the game hadn’t affected the mood of the party any and the gathering had gone long into the night. It was nice to watch Spencer’s teammates, his friends, relax and unwind in such a casual carefree setting. No case hanging over their head, no big bad darkening their horizons as they sipped beer and snacked on ridiculously unhealthy football food. It was nice to watch them laugh, their eyes crinkled in the corners as they lazily tossed popcorn and Cheetos at one another in jest. I closed door with a sigh and locked it, it’s heavy sound echoing through my empty apartment. A loud crashing sound came from my kitchen and I chuckled as I shook my head. _Almost_ empty apartment.

“Spence I’m going to go take a shower to try and get this paint off me ok? Try not to kill yourself or set the place on fire alright?” I called out as I started peeling off my jersey, throwing the grubby thing the direction of the washer.

“Al-alright!” I heard Spencer call out before what could only be the sound of cutlery crashing hit my ears as I closed the bathroom door. Stripping, I made short work of getting my shower started and over with.

**-xXx-**

“Hey Spence you still in one piece?” I called out as I exited my bedroom in clean pajamas with a towel in hand as I tried drying my hair.

“Mostly,” Spencer laughed in his familiar self deprecating manner. I tisked at him as I inspected him quickly, checking for any loss of limbs or bodily damage and seemed to be in one piece with no visible bandages.

“Wow, Spence, you really did an amazing job tidying up the place! You really didn’t have to!” I exclaimed as I once over-ed the apartment in awe. He had managed _not_ to burn it down it seemed!

“Well it was the least I could do after my team sort of invaded your private space. And you bought a _lot_ of food that we somehow mostly completely consumed. And while they’re all completely civil and the like, when it comes to things like this they can be likened to a runaway freight train. So I figured it was the least I could do,” Spencer offered sheepishly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well you really didn’t have to,” I repeated as I surveyed the remaining damage. I groaned at the thought of cleaning the rest of it tonight. Tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.

“Hey Spence, why don’t we call it a night. I don’t really feel an over abundant urge to clean any more tonight,” I drawled as I picked at the remnants of body paint still left on my personage.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Spencer replied with a stifled yawn.

“Do you think I did alright? I mean do you think your team, your friends, liked it? I didn’t know what everyone liked for football food, but I figured just plain old chips and dip wouldn’t cut it with them. I mean I know I went a little crazy, but that’s just how I am when it comes to football. If you think I’m bad, you should see my mother. I was just worried that maybe this wouldn’t what they were used to,” I found myself rambling at the mouth, complete and utter unstoppable word vomit.

“Shhh, hey, hey… Mari, Mari! You did _brilliantly_! Honestly! I haven’t seen my team that relaxed in a long time, not even last Superbowl! Your food was perfectly Superbowl and quirky all at the same time. I’m pretty sure Gideon ate an entire bowl of that shrimp stuff all by himself. You’re amazing, truly. All your wild crazy football antics, leaping off the couch and yelling. Your need to feed people until they have to unbutton their pants only so they can breathe. Everything, it was brilliant,” Spencer shushed softly, his hand coming up to brush something off my face.

I grimaced when I saw the chunk of blue and orange paint on his fingers before he blew it away like an eyelash wish, apparently I hadn’t showered as well as I had thought! But it was nice, the feeling of his fingers against my cheek even if it was just to pick Superbowl debris off of me. The fact that he had initiated it wasn’t lost on me either, even if it was only for something so so benign.

“Just brilliant,” Spencer finally spoke in bare a whisper, breaking the silence between us as he did. His fingers found their way back up to my cheek again. How much paint was left on me? But this time he let his fingers linger, and it didn’t feel like he was scraping paint off. They were soft against my cheek, tracing the line of my cheek bone up and down softly but deftly. I leaned into his touch a bit, not too much but enough that he would notice it as there, was no way he couldn’t. I let my eyes close softly as he continued to stroke along my bone structure, rubbing absent minded circles with the pad of his thumb. It was nice.

My eyes popped open suddenly when cool yet soft lips touched my own, not the most chaste of kisses but nothing over the top either. I let my eyes drift closed again as Spencer moved his lips against my own, he was tentative, as if he was unsure of himself or what he was doing, but boy could the boy kiss. Even with so simple a kiss. The hand that had been caressing my cheek flattened and was mirrored by his other as it came to rest on my other cheek, his hands cradling my face like it would break. I sighed against his lips, into the kiss, as I stepped forward into it and tried not to smile to big when I felt him kiss back even more. I let my hands fall to his waist, my fingers playing with the edge of his uncharacteristic plain t-shirt. If I hadn’t been paying attention, with that one part of my brain that likes to function still when the rest of my self is drowning in the rare instances where I have Spencer like this, I wouldn’t have noticed him step closer to me. Drawing our bodies together with only the power of his lips and fingertips. He wasn’t being aggressive or even all too forward, but he was stepping out of his comfort zone and right into mine.

“Hey,” I whispered as the kiss finally broke, mutually on both our ends. His fingers had tangled themselves in my hair and they didn’t let up their hold when we put a mere inch of space between our faces, our breaths mingling together before they joined the rest of the air around us.

“Hey,” Spencer replied just as quietly, his eyes still closed but his breath shaky.

“We should head to bed,” I sighed regrettably even though I didn’t want this to end. It was incredibly late and we both had work in the morning, in a few hours in fact, and his job was a bit more taxing than my own.

“Probably,” Spencer answered in kind.

“Let me get you your things,” I spoke quickly as I untangled myself from Spencer to go and get him sleepwear and bedding like normal. I caught Spencer out of the corner of my eye just standing where I left him, cracking his knuckles before making his way to the couch. Not a single hair tuck in sight. This was a good thing.

“Uhm, Mari?” I heard Spencer call out unsurely from behind me. Turning with the items I kept for him tucked for him up in the closet in hand I saw him standing at the couch pathetically with something in hand.

“What?” I asked confused.

“The couch is full of popcorn. Like _full_ ,” Spencer pouted, rather dramatically, as he flicked the popcorn evil popcorn further into the depths of my apartment. I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all. I dropped the things I was holding so I could wrap my arms around my ribs and drop almost completely to the floor, by butt resting on my heels. It was just so pathetic, and just too damn hilarious. His pout was absurd, so over the top, and the look on his face was priceless.

“What am I gonna do now?” Spencer whined quite uncharacteristically. My laughter kept coming, kept spilling out of every pore of my being. It took me a moment of pointedly _not_ looking at him for me to bring myself back together. I coughed a few times to rid myself of the giggles for good, flushing them out of my system.

“Come on Spencer, let’s go to bed,” I spoke calmly as I stood and held my hand out for him, motioning towards my bedroom with my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit long.  
> Not that anyone really complains about that.  
> I've just been feeling a bit guilty for not being able to get chapters out, even though it was out of my hands.
> 
> And yes, the Superbowl may seem like a strange thing to focus on but it's integral to my story as I follow alongside the show.  
> So just bear with me!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

It was the unaccustomed extra warmth that initially woke me before my alarm went off. I stretched out my limbs to erase sleep from my muscles before I cracked half an eyelid to take stock of my surroundings. Lying close to me, taking over the role of big spoon in some strange way, was the most gorgeous tangle of pale thin limbs. I moved ever so slowly so as not to wake him as it was well before our alarms were to go off. He seemed so carefree when he was asleep, as corny and cliche as that sounded, but he really did. The pale blue white light of barely dawn washed through the cracks in my blinds and cast an almost iridescent glow to his skin. He was already so pale but this light made him glow, it smoothed what cares sleep didn’t erase from his features. The bed shirt he was sleeping in had rucked up during his tossing and turning, leaving his stomach and lower ribs bare as he had managed to kick off all his blankets and sheet. Or I had hogged them all, one of the two.

I don’t know how long I sat there just staring at him, it couldn’t have been all that long but it felt like forever. His even breathing making his chest rise and fall so rhythmically, it was almost peaceful to the point of lulling me back to sleep. I gently reached out and tucked a piece of hair back behind his ear, it was tussled about from sleep and I couldn’t help myself. I froze as he turned into my touch, the one I had thought was light enough not to wake him. He stilled after a moment and I started breathing again. I didn’t want him to wake up but I knew it was going to happen anyway and figured me waking him was better than an annoying alarm. I brought my hand down and skipped my fingers lazily across his stomach, running my fingers down the oddly visible ribs on either side of him. He started to move beneath my touch, it was oddly erotic the way he writhed but there was only so far I was willing to push Spencer- especially when he was unconscious.

“Spence,” I whispered, thinking a verbal wake up combined with a physical one would work. 

“Spence,” I whispered a bit louder, pressing my fingernails against his skin instead of just the pads of my fingers. Nothing changed.

“Spence,” I continued to whisper, letting my nails trace a bit harder but this time along the top of the waistband of his- my sweatpants. The combination didn’t do as I had expected, instead of waking up he only let out a low whisper of a moan. This was not working, at least not in a way that allowed me to continue down the slow path we were so wonderfully taking. Sighing loudly I resorted to plan D, for drastic.

“Spencer,” I laughed loudly near his ear as I stuck my finger abruptly into his bellybutton.

“Jesus H Christ! Alright I’m awake Satan!” Spencer shouted loudly as he leapt awake with a very undignified yelp. I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation.

“I better get free coffee after this,” Spencer grumbled with a yawn as he slumped back against my pillows with a dramatic flair before folding his arms across his chest.

“When haven’t you gotten free coffee when at the shop?” I asked with what started out as a laugh but ended as a yawn. Spencer merely responded with a nonverbal grunt of a noise that I assume was supposed to be in agreement but sleep made it nonsensical.

“Wake up Spencer!” I groaned as poked him in the sides half heartedly.

“I hate mornings,” Spencer groaned in response before turning into me with his entire body. It was strange, it was like as if in the early morning hours Spencer had no personal boundaries, no qualms or set backs about being close. As if some barrier inside him dropped without him realizing it. I must have been more tired than I thought because the idea that maybe coffee was what put up his walls every day flittered across my mind. But instead of mulling it over and over thinking things like I normally do I simply flopped back down beside Spencer, the FBI Agent simply rearranging his body so he fit closer against me.

“Just five more minutes,” I yawned.

**-xXx-**

It had be a day like any other- quiet, peaceful and full of coffee and my current book. Spencer had left my apartment the morning before, his awkward state returning as we had dressed and gone for coffee before he ran home to change for work. Some of the awkwardness had left when we had sat down in our regular chairs at my shop, hot coffee finally making us human. We hadn’t had sex or anything else the night he slept in my bed, but I feel that it was the state of intimacy that had caused him to take a step back. A step back from where we had finally found ourselves. But I hadn’t been worried, Spencer was Spencer and he’d find his way out of whatever it was that troubled him.

I hadn’t seen him this morning but that was normal when his team flew out for a case, which he had. The day he left my apartment actually, his team had flown out that very day as I had found out via a text from Garcia. She had also texted about seeing if we could go out for drinks when she had a free moment, saying she got bored and lonely when everyone was gone and she was left behind. As if summoning her by magic my phone rang with her name coming up on my caller ID, a weird picture of her from the Superbowl party taking up my screen. With a smile I picked it up to answer.

“Hello Garcia,” I answered as I flipped the next page of my book.

“Marian,” Garcia’s voice came through, softer than I had expected.

“ _Mari_ ,” I corrected her with a half smile she could not see as I sipped more of my coffee, my chocolate breakfast croissant still uneaten beside me.

“Mari,” Garcia corrected but without any humor in her voice over the joke.

“What’s up Garcia?” I asked as I put my book down on my bag, sitting forward on my chair.

“It’s- it’s Reid honey,” Garcia’s voice came through quietly. I didn’t like the tone or quiver of her voice.

“Wh-what about Spencer?” I asked getting worried all of a sudden. Why would Garcia be calling me about Reid instead of him calling me himself? He’d only been gone on this new case for all of two days! I placed my coffee down as well so I could hold my phone with both hands, as if that would bring me some form of grounding.

“He’s, he’s… he’s missing,” Garcia’s voice broke just slightly.

“What do you **MEAN** Reid is _MISSING_?” I asked loudly. Not exactly yelling but loud enough that people occupying my cafe stopped what they were doing to stare in my direction. For once I didn’t care about the sudden influx of attention, I didn’t even notice it as I clenched my phone tight in my hands.

“He’s, he’s missing. He’s been taken by our Unsub we believe. Th-that’s all I-I know. I’m flying out now to help them find him but Hotch said it would be okay if you wanted to come to the BAU and wait for news,” Garcia’s voice wavered as she explained everything.

“Okay. Okay. Alright. Alright. Text me the address and I’ll be there immediately. H-how am I supposed to get in? Is this even allowed? Is it legal? Oh god I am so not dressed for walking into the BAU,” I rambled off as I stood and started to gather my things, never putting my phone down. My connection to Garcia, my only current lifeline to Spencer and his current missing status.

“If you leave now I’ll meet you downstairs with a visitor’s pass when you get here, I don’t fly out for another hour. And it’s allowed because Hotchner is allowing it. There’s a certain soft spot inside all of us when it comes to Reid. You’re one of the few people Reid has attached himself to, one of the _only_ people any of us has ever seen Reid attach himself to in any form or fashion. Probably the only one outside of us. So that makes you one of us by inclusion. And Hotch feels like he as fault for all this, for the loss of Reid and,” Garcia rambled.

“Garcia, I’ll be there shortly. Just meet me outside,” I interrupted before turning off my phone and hanging up on her suddenly.

I couldn’t take it, not that I didn’t like Garcia and I knew she was only incredibly worried about her friend and coworker but my brain just couldn’t take it. I had suddenly become hyper focused, all I could think about was Reid. Actually more to the point all I could think about was Reid’s sweater vest and the way his hair permanently curled because he always tucked it. That’s it, that’s all I could think of. Nothing else useful. Quicker than I had ever moved I gathered up all my things and ran out the front door, throwing my shop keys to Ray-Ann behind the counter without saying anything I bolted. Outside, my belongings spilling out of my purse I hailed a cab and gave the cabbie the directions Garcia had texted me while she had been on the phone with me earlier.

The back of the cab smelled like the back of any cab. Mostly. All I could focus on was innocuous details that pertained in absolutely no way to Spencer. It’s like my mind was avoiding even thinking about his name, just thinking about not thinking about him was making my mouth water to the point of wanting to puke. Smells, smells. The cab smelled distinctly of Buchanania Ianzan, commonly known as charoli. It’s a spice found and cultivated in India, though my cabbie wasn’t Indian nor did he look of Indian descent. Charoli is mainly used in sweets and judging by the state of his rumpled clothes and the slight pale pink on his collar I was assuming her had an Indian girlfriend. She wore a very nice shade of lipstick. My skin tone wouldn’t look good with that shade, I never was one for that shade of berry. I think maybe I was too pale, maybe I should tan like normal people do. It’d never work though, I was too pale for tanning. 

Looking down at my hands, the pale skin of my hands that made the tattoo on the top of my right hand stand out so intensely ended in redness around my finger tips. When it got cold my fingers would get red from flipping so many pages. It was funny, Spencer’s hands were paler than mine, twice as cool to the touch and he read at least a hundred times faster than I did. And yet, and yet his hands were a perfect unblemished porcelain. If you didn’t count ink and pencil lead stains that is. Thinking of Spencer made me want to be sick again.

“Are we almost there yet?” I croaked out as I swallowed the saliva that had started to pool in my mouth.

“Almost miss,” the cabbie replied over his shoulder without taking his eyes off the road. Almost there, almost there.

**-xXx-**

“Mari, Mari over here!” I heard called out as I finished paying the cabbie. I had made it to the center for the BAU in more or less than one piece, though I was pretty sure I looked worse for wear. Turning and shielding my eyes from the sun I saw Garcia waving an arm above her head, motioning me towards her and the correct front door.

“Hey lady, glad you could make it here so quickly. Come on inside, I’ll bring you where you need to go before I have to run out of here. Here, clip this to your shirt,” Garcia chittered at me nervously as she handed me a visitor’s pass with a clip on one side.

As I made to clip it to the front of me so it would be visible I realized I really looked out of place amongst all these suites running around. Not out of place like Garcia did in all her glory of color and patterns, but in the fact I had on grey lounge pants with a humongous Megadeth tank top and my hair in a super messy bun. I looked like a damn hoodlum being pulled in for questioning, if that’s something the BAU even did, not like someone here with a visitor’s pass. I smoothed out my Megadeth tank top and clipped my badge pass to the trap of the tight fitting tank top underneath it, hoping I passed muster and that the suites scrambling around me and in the elevator were not talking about me in their hushed whispers.

“Garcia is this really necessary?” I asked once we were alone in the elevator.

“Honey, it’s _completely_ necessary. You’re the one friend we know Reid actually has. Reid is family, that makes you family by association. I, I- we just want to make sure you’re safe, that we know where you are until this is over and we-we…” Garcia stumbled as we stood outside a pair glass double doors.

“You’ll find him Garia. You’ll bring him home safe and sound,” I reassured soothingly as best I could even though inside I was a complete mess. Garcia simply nodded, too frazzled to really reply.

“You-you can sit here, make yourself comfortable in this office. I figured it would be better than sitting in the fishbowl out there. Uhmm, I have to leave now but I’ll either contact you via your cell phone or via a phone here. If you need anything Jenny will get it for you, just-just don’t go far. I’ll keep you updated when I can, but I gotta run sweetie,” Garcia rambled quickly before embracing me in the tightest hug I had ever received in my entire life. They say when you receive a hug this intense in times of need you’re supposed to feel everything inside you fall back into place. There was too much pain in her hug, like she was looking for reassurance from me in the hug.

“I’ll be fine,” I replied as she let me go, sniffling a bit before she looked up and met my eyes. Dead on. Without even a flinch. It wasn’t something I was used to, at least not from people I didn’t spend a considerable amount of time with.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll contact you as soon as possible,” Garcia offered with a forced half smile before scooting out of the office in a flash of bright colors. Finally alone I took stock of the office, it was sparse and stately but also warm. I didn’t have to look at the nameplate to know whose office I was in, it screamed Agent Hotchner in here. Quiet, masculine, strong, straight lines, neat and tidy but warm and comfortable amongst all the sharp lines. Welcoming but properly intimidating at the same time.

“He’ll be fine, he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine,” I whispered to myself on repeat as I slumped onto a couch against one of the walls.

**-xXx-**

I leapt out of my fitful dreamless sleep when my phone went off blaringly right next to my ear. Scrambling I picked myself off of the floor, having fallen off the couch when the phone woke me, and opened my phone.

“Hel-hello?” I answered groggily.

“Mari?” Garcia’s voice came through steady.

“What? What? Do you have any news?” I mumbled as I forced myself awake, rubbing my eyes before patting around with my hand for my glasses.

“Yeah. We got him Mari, we got it him. He’s safe and mostly in one piece and we’re bringing him home. Where are you?” Garcia exploded all at once.

“I’m-I’m in Hotchner’s office,” I stumbled.

“ _Still_?” Garcia stated shocked.

“I uh-I, I fell asleep here last night. I didn’t want to go home after you told me that you guys were moving in on his location finally,” I yawned as I shoved my glasses on and sat up trying to figure out what time it was. Had no one tried to wake me when everyone went home for the night?

“Did you spend the entire three days in Hotch’s office?” Garcia laughed, her humor returned now that Spencer was safe it seemed.

“No, no. No. I went home every night and came in every day. I just must have passed out last night waiting for you. Wha-what time is it?” I asked with a yawn.

“It’s like three, no wait, four am. I’m going to send an agent to drive you to our strip so you can be there when we land. Reid is uh, Reid…” Garcia trailed off.

“Spencer is what?” I asked, suddenly worried all over again. She had said he was okay, that he was in one piece. 

“He’s a bit worse for wear Mari. It was a rough three days, it was bad and more so than what I told you. What we saw. I just thought I’d warn you before you saw him,” Garcia warned.

“But he’s okay right?” I asked worried as I began to mindlessly pick up my stuff. I may not have made a mess of Agent Hotchner’s office, but my stuff still seemed to have pooled out around where I was on the couch. When did my purse decide to empty itself all over the floor?

“Yeah. He is,” Garcia replied, I could hear the smile in her voice, shaky as it was.

“What time is the Agent going to be here to pick me up?” I sniffed as I ran a hand through my ratty hair. Did I not pack a brush?

“Should be there in about two hours or so, just come as you are, I don’t think anyone will mind,” Garcia chuckled softly.

“Wait are you on the plane?” I asked back shocked. Though I don’t know why, at this hour and her within two hours of landing she could only be in the air.

“Yeah I am. Reid is passed out, so is most everyone else. Gideon is reading and Hotchner is going over files. It’s so strange, actually being on the jet with them, I only ever see it via a computer call,” Garcia whispered with a chuckle.

“Go to bed Garcia, I’ll see you in two hours,” I chuckled before hanging up and putting my phone down. With a yawn and a stretch I got up from Agent Hotchner’s couch and went about tidying up what little disturbance I had created in his office. After I had finished I sniffed myself before scrunching my face in a not so bad way. Gingerly I opened the office door and peeked my head out. It didn’t seem like anyone was here but I could hear a copier and a printer somewhere in the background in some back room so someone was here at 5 am, burning that early morning oil. Quietly I made my way to the bathroom I had found on my first day here, it wasn’t all that hard to find anymore. I had an hour still but there was a lot work needed to make me look presentable and not a lot of tools with which to do it with.

**-xXx-**

I stood nervously on the tarmac waiting for the plane to finishing tacking, it was nerve wracking just waiting there standing alone. Well semi alone, the Agent who had driven me here was still standing behind me a distance back at the car we had taken. I wish I had driven myself, I’d feel a lot more put together. I stood there and tapped my foot to some unknown song or rhythm, resisting the urge to rake my hands through my hair and messing up my already slap-dashed messy bun. Eventually when I heard the team approaching I looked up from my clasped hands and smiled. Smiled until I saw Spencer.

He was hanging back from the rest of the group, his arms wrapped tight around his chest and his head hung low. When his teammates looked at him and tried to interact with him he’d lift his head and respond, the ghost of a smile on his face before he looked back down. Something inside me clenched and unclenched before feeling like whatever it was fell out the bottom of me. I wanted to be sick all over again. As the rest of the team approached me they all acknowledged my presence in some form or another, all their faces showing varying signs of relief. Last came Spencer and as I closed the distance between the two of us I could almost hear the team collect behind me and collectively turn to face us as they held their breaths.

“Hey Spence,” I hushed softly as I just stared at him. I wanted to run to him, to rid the distance between us, to crush him to me with my arms. His cheeks were hollow and his skin had an almost transparent look to it, his eyes were flat as if the life had left them. Scared. He looked scared.

“Hey,” he spoke softly. Taking a risk I put my arm out and made to hug him, the look on his face wouldn’t allow me to do anything else. As my arm came around him he flinched. Not like a Spencer type flinch which was barely measurable to the naked eye but an honest to god flinch. There was not one in this entire airport who was watching that didn’t see it. Startled I stopped moving my arm around and froze. I waited with baited breath until he took a step into my space, bringing our bodies together. I latched both my arms around him and gently brought him to me, he crumbled ever so slightly into my body and I just held on like our lives depended on it.

“Let’s go home,” I whispered softly as I directed Spencer the direction of the waiting cars. With my help he limped towards the cars. He was limping, like he didn’t want to be on his feet. What the hell happened to him?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

Three days. It had been three days since Spencer had come back, been rescued from the Unsub and returned to them. To her. I had seen him home, left him on his doorstep because he said he wanted to be alone and that had been that. I had gone back to my routine, my life, waiting by my phone for a word from anyone. About anything. But nothing. The FBI was apparently really good at keeping their mouths shut even if only recently you had all but spent days camping in their beloved BAU. But I understood, even if I wished someone would send a text or an email or a god damn emoji. Anything!

“Anything yet?” Ray-Anne asked as she put a new coffee on my desk. I was out back of the coffee shop in my tiny little office I had piles of paperwork to go through that I had left unattended while Reid had been missing and because of that they were currently taunting me. I had been here since before we opened this morning because I hadn’t been able to sleep last night.

“No,” I replied wearily as I put my phone down again and went back to crunching numbers and endless paperwork.

“We’re kinda slow, why don’t you go home? I’ve got the new person just about trained perfectly so I don’t exactly need you here. And the paperwork isn’t going to oddly multiple if you leave it for another night. Besides staring at your phone every five minutes waiting for some news on Dr. Re-”

“Hey,”

“I’m gonna go back out front and sling some coffee…” Ray-Anne drawled out as she scooted around Reid who had suddenly appeared in the doorway to the office and made her way out to the front of the store.

“Hey,” I exhaled lamely in reply.

“Wanna get some coffee?” Reid asked cheekily, almost seemed forced but there was enough genuine feeling behind it that I stood regardless.

“I think I might know a place,” I answered in kind before smiling somewhat at him. He looked like he was coexisting in one body at the moment. He looked like my Spencer for the most part and his eyes weren’t as lost as I had seen them after trauma, but there was something else. Something was off, like a glimmer or a shadow that was slightly out of focus around him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but decided against worrying, he was here, standing in my office and wanting to go for coffee. I had wanted this and wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth when it appeared. I was gonna take what I could get. Standing next to him I went to put my hand on his lower back to usher him out the office but faltered when he flinched ever so slightly. Letting my hand drop I motioned with my head for him to head out before me so I could shut the door behind us.

**-xXx-**

“Hey I’m back,” Spencer announced rather cheerily as he came back to the table. We’d been talking for hours at my work, just simply talking without actually talking about anything important. Not exactly in the sense of easy camaraderie but in the sense that we were delicately dancing around a subject neither of us wanted to focus on. After our umpteenth round of coffee he had pleaded a bathroom break and disappeared on me for what felt like forever. But I wasn’t going to complain when the outcome was an upbeat and shiny eyed Spencer who looked like he was going to bounce out of his skin. His eyes were almost glowing they sparkled so much.

“Let’s go do something!” Spencer announced suddenly, having not sat in his chair instead opting to bounce slightly on the balls of his feet.

“Don’t you have work?” I asked warily, like I was going to be taking him from something important.

“Nah, I’m on leave to recuperate before going back to work. Psych eval and all that,” Reid answered nonchalantly with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

“Well shouldn’t you be doing that? Recuperating? I mean you went throu-”

“I’m _fine_!” Spencer answered rather bluntly. Not in the way that meant he was sick of saying that a thousand times because people kept asking him, but more forcibly. “I just thought it would be nice for us to go and do something,” Spencer followed up nicer, a half smile taking up space on his face. Was that what his smile normally looked like?

“Sure let’s go,” I replied as I stood to gather my things. I had just gotten my so called prayers answered by Spencer being rescued, and then when he just today showed up to hang out, so I didn’t want to do anything to ruin this current upside to him.

**-xXx-**

“Hey Spence it’s okay really,” I tried to assure soothingly. The place we had gone for drinks at the end of our day out doing glorious nothing apparently had been having card reader problems. So he couldn’t pay with his credit card and he had taken offense to it, more so when I said I would pay as I had cash on me. Like he had gotten way more agitated than he should have and was now currently sitting and running his hands angrily through his hair. Like his hands were shaking fiercely as he tucked his hair behind his ears over and over again.

“I’m just gonna go home, I’ll see you later,” Spencer answered bruskly as he stood abruptly and walked away at a stiff pace.

**-xXx-**

“Seriously why is this so damn fun?” Morgan asked with a laugh as he went for another grape.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you, it was just something I used to do as a kid. I’d just giggle the entire time,” I laughed in reply as I shoved another grape into the mostly formed jello sitting between the two of us.

“Who knew something like this could be this fun!” Morgan laughed before popping a grape into his mouth instead of pushing it into the bowl of jello.

“How many grapes are we gonna stick in this?” Morgan laughed as he stabbed a finger into the jello, pressing the grape far down into the cherry jolly rancher flavored jello.

“Well we made a _lot_ of jello,” I laughed as I licked jello off of my fingers before going for another grape.

“You were the one making jello when I came over,” Morgan laughed as he pushed more grapes into the jello, laughing more when it made a squelching noise and sucked in the grape.

“But it’s your fault that I made more than I had intended,” I laughed and licked my fingers again. Morgan simply laughed in response before sticking his finger into his mouth to lick off all the excess.

“Huh,” a third voice interjected from the living room doorway into the kitchen. Morgan and I both turned to face the new voice, though I automatically knew who it was. It wasn’t like I left my place unlocked.

“How’d you get in here?” Morgan asked Spencer, mid licking the jello off his fingers.

“I have a key,” Spencer answered rather flatly as he held up a key ring and shook them rather anti-climatically.

“Heeey, you know what that means,” Morgan teased with an over-dramatic wink and a stupid wiggle of his eyebrows. I found myself clamping down on a snort of a laugh until I saw Spencer’s face, it automatically killed any laughter I had.

“It’s _not_ like that,” Spencer snapped rather rudely. Morgan simply coughed, stood and grabbed his jacket in one fluidly smooth motion. 

“I’ll catch ya later sweetheart. Fill me in if you can,” Morgan spoke in salutation as he made his way towards my door. “Reid,” Morgan said as he passed his co-worker.

“What the hell was _that_ all about?” Spencer snapped once Morgan had left the apartment.

“What the hell was _what_?” I asked confused as I put the now fully stuffed jello into the fridge.

“ _That_! Morgan being here with you, laughing as he suggestively licked jello off his damn fingers!” Spencer barked as he gestured with his hand where Morgan had been a moment before. I scoffed at Spencer’s ridiculousness.

“Are you _kidding_ me? _That’s_ what’s got your panties so in a bunch? Morgan only came over because he was worried about _you_! You haven’t been answering your goddamn phone Spence! It’s only been three weeks since your abduction and you’re still acting off so of course everyone is worried about you, more so when you avoid all forms of communication outside of work! Everyone figured I might magically know something more!” I listed off loudly.

“Why would you know _anything_?” Spencer snapped but sounding more fried than pissed.

“Because you’re my friend, you’re my _best_ friend Spence. They just hoped that I’d have an insight, especially since you tend to be here a lot,” I exasperated with a wave of my hands.

“Well if I’m here too much I can just go!” Spencer yelled, his voice sounding like he was going to break into tears in my living room before he turned to leave without me getting to voice an opinion.

“Spencer come on!” I called as I reached his arm only to have him shrug it out of my grasp. “Spence,” I called out when he reached the door. Finally he stopped.

“Spence come on. Come back. Let’s sit. Let’s talk. I feel like I don’t know you anymore, you fluctuate between such extreme ups and downs. You’re either on top of the world and loving life or you’re so closed off you might as well be living in Antarctica. I just want to know if you’re ok or if I need to buy four gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream so we can drown ourselves in it while screaming into pillows. Just- just let me know,” I pleaded hopelessly.

“Alright,” Spencer replied as I watched him place his hands into his pockets, they were shaking uncontrollably. He looked like me after a solid day of straight espresso, one after another, while working on a project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it was sliiiightly filler-esque but I needed some little bits to show you some ups and downs of his drug addiction without zeroing in on it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is about 3 days late.  
> I got a super cold, like a nasty head cold.  
> The kind where I couldn't sit up at the angle I needed to in order to be able to write because I couldn't breathe.
> 
> But better late than never right?  
> And I can breathe!  
> Mostly. . .

Spencer was sprawled out on my couch, all lanky limbs and sharp angles, with his head in my lap as we watched a movie. I was absentmindedly running my fingers through his hair, twisting and knotting before releasing his hair to fall back to his head. We hadn’t actually been watching any of the movies we had been playing, more so we had just been talking for hours about nothing and everything in-between. It had been a good night for Spencer, no radical mood swings or shaky hands. Whatever he had been going through since his abduction, his kidnapping and torture, seemed to be wearing off. Or at least letting him have a normal night, I just hoped that when he did fall asleep the nightmares left him alone too.

I had given Spencer his key a few days after his return to us. I had come home from work early because one of my neighbors had called to say there was a derelict looking person huddled on my front step and they were unsure if I wanted to call the cops. So me being the genius I a decided to drive home to investigate for myself instead of just calling the cops. But it was a good thing I had, because the derelict stranger huddled on my steps had been none other than Spencer himself. He had just been sitting there with knees pulled up so tightly to his chest with his head hung low against them he had looked like a child, his body curled up so small. He had looked at me with such sad lost eyes when I had approached him and had spoken his name so softly. ‘You weren’t home’ he had said with a voice as lost sounding as his eyes had looked.

There was no explaining to Spencer in that state that I had been at work like I am every other normal day, that he could have just come to the shop like normal if he had needed me. Instead I had just helped pick him up, took him inside and had made him tea. Not coffee. It had been that night that I had given him a copy of the keys to my place. Not in the way that said _hey we’re dating and I want to take this to the next level_ but more so in the way that told him he had access to a safe place to escape to.

And so here we were, about a month after his return, lying crumpled on my couch as we talked about all sorts of nonsense, his copy of my keys half dangling out of his leather work satchel on the floor near the door.

“What’s your favorite childhood book?” I asked as I stared up at the ceiling instead of at the movie flashing across my television screen.

“It’s…”

“Eh! I don’t mean Chaucer or Homer or some Philosopher but an _actual_ children’s book,” I interjected, interrupting Spencer’s initial response by covering his mouth with my hand.

“Mert wast pizzat eugh aghack drgvvfd,” came the muffled response from Spencer, my hand still over his mouth.

“What was that?” I asked cheekily as I leaned forward so I could stare at his face even if from an upside down angle, my hand still over his mouth. I wiggled my eyebrows at him as my hair fell forward to shroud the both of us, tucking it behind an ear I watched his eyes gather into a glare as he mumbled more nonsense against the palm of my hand.

“Oh! You’re trying to respond. My bad!” I laughed as I removed my hand from Spencer’s scowling face.

“As I trying to say before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, my favorite book as a kid was _Puff the Magic Dragon_ ,” Spencer finished, looking rather pleased with himself. I couldn’t figure out if it was because he was finally able to answer or if it was because of the shocked look on my face, the one still looming upside down above his.

“ _What_?” I asked incredulously.

“I said it was Puff the Magic Dragon,” Spencer replied with a roll of his eyes.

“No I get that. I heard that part. Are you serious?” I asked, still trying to wrap my head around this new info.

“Ha, ha. I had a rather lonely childhood, if you could even call what I had an actual childhood. I would have _loved_ to have had an invisible friend or some such thing but my mind wouldn’t allow the possibility, it was too rational. I always loved dragons, and the idea that someone could love you so unconditionally because you brought them everyday things like wax paper, string and sealing wax was so beautiful and foreign to me. It’s what I wanted most,” Spencer answered rather matter of factually, his eyes going someone else. Somewhere into the corners of his mind where he kept these things locked away.

I felt them, threatening at the corners of my eyes. Burning and building up. Traitors, the lot of em! Leaning down and forward more I pressed my lips to Spencer’s forehead so he wouldn’t see the tears escaping my eyes softly. How unfortunate was it when a little boy only wanted someone to love him unconditionally for nothing more than the tiny things he could fit into the pockets of his coveralls. I could imagine in my head a tiny little Spencer lying on his stomach, feet up in the air kicking back and forth, a dragon beside him in the same pose as he taught it mathematical equations. And it was those thoughts that danced about my dreams that night.

**-xXx-**

“There’s no point in fighting me on this tea thing Spence, it’s for your own good,” I called out from the kitchen over my shoulder as I put water on to boil.

“You have no idea what’s good for me,” came Spencer’s snappy reply from behind me. The sting to his words caused me to turn around to see if it had been intentional, and if so then why.

“Wow, calm down Spence it’s only tea. I was only looking out for you in a joking manner,” I replied softly, keeping my words and tone calm as I brought down our mugs. I placed a tea bag inside Spencer’s purple polka dotted one and then in my own, placing them side by side on the counter.

“You’ve been doing that an awful lot lately if you hadn’t noticed. I’m _perfectly_ capable of taking care of _myself_ thank you very much! If only _you_ and my entire team would get that through your thick skulls everything could get back to normal! I’m perfectly fine!” Spencer ended in almost a shout. No, I take that back- it was _definitely_ a shout!

“ _Excuse me_?” I asked incredulously. “You’re _perfectly capable of taking care of yourself_? And since when are you _fine_? Spence ever since you came back you’ve been a rolling train wreck. It’s not just the roller coaster of emotions, the extreme ups and downs or your sudden shut-in like behavior. It’s-it’s… you look really strung out! Like you’re on _drugs_ or something! You’re not sleeping anymore really. You’ve become a hot mess, a shell of your former self. And it’s scary damn it!” I replied back in kind, my voice getting to the same level as his had been.

“I’m perfectly fine!” Spencer shouted back, this time there was no mistaking the level of volume of his voice.

“Really? When was the last time you took a good hard look at yourself Spence? You’re scaring _all_ of us Spence, not just me! If you’d just talk to me…”

“You have _no_ clue the things I went through, none of you! Your minds are too small to even begin to comprehend what I went through and what I’m going through now! So don’t think for one _minute_ that any of you can do a damn thing! So you all need to get the hell off my back and leave me _alone_!” Spencer yelled loudly as he lashed out with his hand, sending his purple polka dotted mug off the counter and sailing towards the floor. The sound it makes shattering on the floor only seemed to punctuate Spencer’s words more. Even though we had been yelling the sound of the mug shattering was so loud it sounded like it echoed in an empty silent room, setting my ears to ringing.

“Get the fuck out!” Spencer yelled, not even missing a beat.

“This is _my_ apartment! **_You_** get out!” I yelled back just as loudly and angrily.

With an angry spin Spencer turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen, bypassed his things in the living room, ripped my front door almost of its hinges and stormed out. The door slammed shut behind him, hard enough to rattle some of the things on my walls. I stood there for a moment just staring blankly, my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water before my knees gave out from under me. I crumpled to the floor, not realizing I was crying until I tasted it on my lips. I just sat there like a forgotten rag doll and cried before I weakly moved my body to limply try picking up the pieces of Spencer’s mug from the floor. All I managed to do was gather them closer to me, a sad pile of shattered purple polka dots. I couldn’t move, and so I just sat there and cried with them, maybe willing my tears to glue the pieces back together magically.

**-xXx-**

Some time later, I don’t know how much later because apparently I had passed out there on the floor with my head back against the cupboard, there was a knock at my door. At first I didn’t know what the sound was or where it was coming from because it had also apparently started raining really hard at some point during my melt down on the floor. Listening closer I heard it again, a soft knock on my front door. Standing stiffly I wiped my now stuffed up nose on the sleeve of my hoodie and made my way towards my front door gingerly. Peeking out the peephole I saw solid sheets of rain and weekly lit Spencer, the last person I wanted to see at the moment. But the sagged set to his shoulders was enough to make my decision for me. Leaning against my door I gathered myself and my strength, I would open the door, listen to what he had to say for himself if anything and then I would promptly shut it in his face. Breathing in deeply I turned and opened my door.

“Spencer,” I said flatly, using his full name instead of the nickname I normally used. He was soaked to the bone, like drenched, a habit he seemed to have when he showed up on my doorstep. His clothes heavy with rain clung to his already small frame only made smaller by his recent struggles. He looked sad and pathetic and utterly broken. But I wasn’t going to allow that to sway me. I went to open my mouth again to speak but stopped when he shuddered so violently his whole body reacted.

“I- I…” Spencer stuttered. When I opened my mouth and started to speak I was once again stopped by Spencer, but this time by him holding up a hand. He still hadn’t looked at me, his eyes laser focused on the ground between us. He sighed before breathing in deeply, his eyes staying glued to the ground.

“I, I have a drug problem,” Spencer breathed out, his shoulders dropping even more, if that was possible, once the words had left his mouth. I watched him visibly flinch when I breathed in to reply.

“Oh Spence,” I drew out, letting my words trail out softly as I held open my arms. I waited for him to respond and slowly he looked up when he realized that was all I had to say in response. When he met my eyes finally I hoped I was conveying everything I wanted, no needed, to in my silent look. I must have because he simply melted against me and let me pull his body into my arms tightly.

“Oh Spence,” I whispered into his sopping wet hair as I held him on the top step of my front steps.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See notes at the end for some info!

“So what is it again?” I asked as I poured Spencer more coffee. 

The night before, or actually this morning as the case was, when Spencer had shown back up at my apartment to drop his bomb we hadn’t done much talking afterwards. It had physically taken everything out of him it had seemed just to unload his secret of all secrets on me, to share it openly with someone other than his reflection. Course most drug addicts don’t even admit to themselves that they had a problem so I was probably the first person he had muttered those words to. I had simply taken him inside, methodically stripped him like a nurse in a hospital would and put him to bed in my own bed while I opted to crawl into the bed in my spare bedroom. It was more of a store room so the bed had been covered in piles of things and boxes, but there had been just enough room for me to curl up amongst my forgotten things and cry myself to sleep silently.

We had woken very early, neither of us being able to get much sleep after his top step revelation. So I had taken him to the cafe, unlocked the back door and let us into the quiet place. And so here we were, sitting in our usual chairs with fresh brewed coffee shared between us just talking. We’d had about two hours of undisturbed time up until this point, the early morning bakers wouldn’t be here to start the doughnuts for another thirty minutes yet and so I was taking advantage of the time as best I could. Besides, coffee seemed to make Spencer feel safer. Or calmer at least. God knows how with the sheer amount of sugar he dumped into it.

“Dilaudid,” Spencer replied flatly as he took a sip of his newly poured piping hot coffee.

“I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on it,” I sighed brokenly, feeling ashamed that I had been so blind.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re good, you’re very good. But not only am I a Profiler, I’m also a drug addict. You’d be surprised how good at lying and hiding things either of those types of people can be, and when you combine the two- well there’s no one who could have. Not even you and your super powers,” Spencer offered weakly with something that didn’t quite resemble his normal half smile.

“Doesn’t make it any better really. So dilaudid?” I asked before blowing over the top of my coffee.

“It’s a pain medication, it’s what Tobias gave me when I was kidnapped. The personality that felt remorse for what was being done to me thought that by drugging me he was doing me a service when in reality he was only making it worse,” Spencer said to his hands instead of me. Which in the grand scheme of things was something I wasn’t going to complain about, the simple fact that he was talking to me was enough! He was fairly lucid, and now that I knew he had a drug problem I was hyper aware of his behavior, so I was assuming he was still floating on the end of his last high and wasn’t jonesing at this point.

“Spence listen-”

“Please don’t lecture me about the hell drug use is, how it’s bad for me and the people I love. Treat my intellect with enough respect to know that I am _fully_ aware of what I am doing to myself,” Spencer interrupted with a raised hand, his face still pointed the way of his lap.

“Oh I’m not going to disrespect your intellect any, in fact I believe that if you were anyone else you’d be dead by now,” I stated flatly, more than a little annoyed at this point but trying my damndest _not_ to show it.

“Then just save the lect-”

“Excuse me, just hold up a minute! I’m not going to lecture you Spencer, you’re too smart for that and you wouldn’t listen anyway. What I _am_ going to do is speak my piece without any further interruptions is that clear?” I asked bruskly, only to exhale when I saw his nod of agreement.

“Good. Now. I know you’re taking what precautions you can, or at least those that the drug will let you. You’re obviously still able to function and work at the FBI. Let’s not get me started on the dangers there, the idea of you going into a firefight with a loaded gun while high is about the most terrifying thing I can imagine. I’m assuming I’m the only person you’ve told otherwise you’d be on your ass in rehab, and or on leave from work. I’m not going to beg and cry and wail and bargain with you, I’m not going to pile you with ultimatums. I’m not going to threaten you. You’re an adult. Not only that but you’re an adult with a ridiculously high IQ. What I am going to do is this,” I finished before leaning forward, taking Spencer’s coffee from him before I clasped both his hands in mine.

“I love you Spencer, you’re one of my best friends. And at this point I’d hate to imagine my life without you in it. I’m scared for you but I trust you. And as you’ve trusted me I will continue to hold that trust. I promise to not share your secret with anyone else, not your work or even your coworkers and friends, unless you come to the point of serious physical harm or you harm someone else. I do ask that you eventually work on telling someone else, but I will let you work that out at your own pace. Know that I love you, I will support and care for you in any way I can. But I have one rule, _ONE_ rule do you understand me Agent?” I asked as I shook his hands that I clenched tighter between my own. I waited until he he got my unspoken point and finally made eye contact with me.

“You bring that shit anywhere _near_ or _in_ my house and this whole charade will come crashing down around you. I will _not_ tolerate it where I live, and that’s a _hard_ fact. So if you can stick to that _one_ rule, and you can keep yourself, myself and others out of real danger and harm then I’m okay with keeping your secret. Can you agree to that?” I asked. I knew I was taking a risk, a _huge_ risk, by not telling Spencer’s secret to someone else, to one of his friends at the BAU. But I knew Spencer, or at least enough to trust that he’d fix this situation of his if I just let him work through it at his own pace and didn’t shove my own timeline down his throat. I waited for a response, searching his face for any kind of clue that my words had gotten through to him. His own eyes seemed to be darting back and forth as they scanned my own face, looking for my sincerity in something other than my words. I went to open my mouth to prod him again for an answer but didn’t get that far for lips stopped the words from ever forming and leaving my lips. The kiss wasn’t chaste but nor was it full of heated passion. His lips were cool but warmed from the coffee and while chapped they still felt kind against my own, and he pressed them there- insistent but pleasant. I could feel his answer in the way he moved them against mine, and hidden in the layers of coffee, hazelnut, vanilla and sugar was the taste of salt. Light, lingering and cool. Tears. I was tasting his tears against my lips. It was the strangest kiss I had ever partaken in, but it was probably the most intense for all intents and purposes.

“Shh,” I whispered when his lips finally stopped moving against my own and he braked for air. I pulled him close to me, my hand cradling the back of his head when he tucked it into the crook of my neck. I wove my fingers into his hair and made soothing noises as I let him cry his soft tears against my sweatshirt. They weren’t ugly sobbing tears but tired tears that would sooth him once they worked themselves out of their system.

“We’ll figure it out,” I whispered on to the top of his head, combing my fingers through his hair all the while.

**-xXx-**

“So how was your date at that Moroccan restaurant?” I asked with a smile as I signaled over a waiter now that my lunch partner had arrived.

“Do I have the receipt stuck to me somewhere or what?” Garcia laughed as she pulled out her chair and sat across from me.

“You smell like lemon pickle and dried fruit. Judging by the smell, texture and color you have a bit of ras el hanout on the sleeve of your jacket. And the lipstick you’re wearing is layered on top of an older layer of the same color, giving you a wonderful ombre look but telling me you haven’t had time to go home since last night to shower and change. So obviously you were out on a date where you ate Moroccan food,” I answered with a smile as I opened my menu.

“God that never ceases to amaze me,” Garcia chuckled as she mimicked my own actions and started perusing the menu.

“I’d suggest their amazing leafy green salad with the fennel, it’s delicious and comes with asparagus, green beans and fresh basil. I’d also recommend their ginger tea,” I said without looking up from my menu. 

“You would would you? For what?” Garcia asked, her menu folded in front of her as she had apparently decided to go with my decision even without an answer yet.

“For the heartburn you’re beginning to experience. All those spices mixed with all that alcohol, tisk tisk Garcia,” I tease as I folded my own menu, my lunch decision made.

“You’re creepy and I love you,” Garcia answered with a laugh as our waitress came over to take our orders.

“So how you been?” Garcia asked once the waitress had left.

“What? No burning questions about Spencer and his well being or mental stability?” I teased.

“Girl, Spencer is fine and stable. Or at least as well as can be expected after his ordeal. Sure he gets surly and aggro at work on occasion but he’s functioning at a level still higher than most BAU Agents, he’s showing up to work and doing his job. If he was in serious danger you’d let us know, one way or another,” Garcia stated rather matter of factually. Her complete and utter blind trust me wracked me with guilt for the secret I was keeping from her, keeping from everyone including the government for which they all worked. But it wasn’t my secret to tell.

“And you think I’d have this info just because I’m so astutely aware?” I asked, knowing full well that that was at least part of the answer.

“Partly. Mainly because Spencer has taken to you in a way none of us have ever thought was possible. He doesn’t form normal social bonds and connections like the rest of us do. Most people are scared of his mind, even most people inside the BAU, and it tends to form this barrier around him that pushes people away. After a moment of hearing him speak, or spending enough time around him to have coffee, most people avoid further contact with him. No one gets to see the side of him that performs magic tricks or loves Halloween more than most children. The side of him that believes children and animals are frightened of him, something he calls the _Reid Effect_ , the side of him that drives him to protect us on the team with every fiber of his being. But you, you saw him and his brain and you smiled. You didn’t shy away from him, you opened your doors and your life to him. You became his friend. Something he doesn’t really have outside of us. And so yes, yes I believe you’d have that information before any of us and that if you knew you needed to you’d tell us. So no, no burning questions about Reid. I just want to know how you’re doing. How’s the coffee trade? Invented any new recipes I should get first crack at tasting?” Garcia asked with a raised eyebrow and a broad smile, heightened only by her electric pink lipstick.

“Funny you should ask-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the serious lapse in updates guys. Recently we ran into some trouble, and by that I mean trouble ran into us. We’re fine. And so because of that the money I had saved for Christmas was put to fixing everything, and because of this I am having to make my presents. Which means all my spare time has gone into that instead of writing. So I apologize not only for this long wait but also for the short length of these updates. Know that once I am done with my presents I’ll be back in force. Know that I love you all dearly and I hope you have a wonderful holiday, whichever of the ones it is you celebrate!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, people watching and a deep seeded love of books can bring about the greatest of things.
> 
> Girl meets boy.  
> Boy meets girl.  
> Girl doesn't speak much.  
> Boy falls a lot.  
> Boy has a REALLY stressful life.  
> Girl is awkward but somehow sometimes does things right.
> 
> "There’s nothing wrong with being guarded, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with preferring the company of books to that of people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See note at the end...

Sighing I turned another page in my new book, my spare hand grabbing for my coffee so as to avoid biting my nails. It was a new series from an author I loved dearly and it had me by the proverbial short and curlies. This was my favorite part about reading a good book, the part when you were so invested that you were _there_ , surrounded by it. You could see and smell the things the characters were, you felt every racing heartbeat, you cursed their gods like they were who you had believed in your whole life. It was exhilarating and thrilling and world consuming. It was my favorite thing in the whole world. Which is not say that a piece of my mind didn’t stay with my body in the real world, a world where there was no magic or epic quests. In this real world I had other things I had to keep my mind on, things like best friends who I tried desperately not to watch like a hawk every moment we spent together. And the reason, at least for now that I couldn’t fully immerse myself in this new favorite book of mine, was because said best friend had gone to the bathroom. Eight minutes ago. 

As if on cue, something tickled the part of my mind still in the here and now. Shamelessly folding a large but soft dog ear in my book I looked up as I took a large sip of my coffee. When my eyes found what they were looking for I closed them immediately and breathed in deeply, trying to center myself. Exhaling I held my hand up and simply pointed towards the door as I put my eyes back on my book, opening it and staring at the words without reading them with the same magic and joy as before. I kept my arm up, hand pointing towards the door, not letting it drop when I heard familiar feet pitter patter their way to me and stop at my directional appendage.

“What?” Spencer’s voice questioned.

“I’m giving you this one freebie because when I first laid out the ground rules I only said my place and did not include my business. I am amending that now. If you _ever_ bring that shit _here_ the same rules apply as if it were my home,” I dead panned without looking up from my book, though I wasn’t much reading anymore as I was skimming the same lines over and over again.

“You have no way of knowing-”

I simply twitched my hand in a way that could not be mistaken for anything other than a demand to stop speaking, a non-verbal interruption.

“You were in the bathroom longer than five minutes,” I stated flatly and in a no nonsense manner.

“Tha-but- There’s no-”

I twitched my hand again.

“One, length of time. Two, your mood has drastically changed since before you went in. You’ve been been silent and brooding all morning, and suddenly there’s no heavy shuffle to your step. Three, the color of your eyes has changed because you didn’t stay in there long enough to allow your pupils time to shrink some. Four, when you came out of the bathroom you stopped and stared out the window at presumably nothing of interest for almost a minute. And five, your horrible inability to cover your tracks and _immediate_ refusal of what I accused,” I listed off still without looking up at him though long since giving up any pretense of pretending to read. Spencer didn’t bother stuttering out a half formed response this time and that gave me hope, hope that maybe he was actually listening to me and allowing my words to sink in.

“So, you get this one freebie. You still have to leave but I’m not taking the earlier mentioned countermeasures. But so help me if you do it again. This is my business. My source of _income_. My god damn **_livelihood_** Spence. How could you?” I spoke brokenly, trying to keep my temper as best I could in my place of business. Spencer still did not respond.

“Just go. I’ll see you later,” I sighed defeatedly, all anger had left my body sometime during my rant.

With that Spencer picked up his bag and left the cafe, not even bothering to talk back or counter my arguments, and if that wasn’t a clear admission of guilt I don’t know what was. Gritting my teeth and clenching my jaw I closed my eyes tight, finally I let everything release and as I opened my eyes again I exhaled. I was going to be okay. Spencer was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay. I only slightly flinched when my phone went off loudly beside me, gingerly reaching down for it I brought it to my ear as I answered it.

“What’s up Garcia?” I asked as I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my free hand, my book long forgotten on my lap.

“Was wondering if you wanted to go out with us tonight. We don’t have a case at the moment and the paperwork is pretty light, so barring a sudden disaster we’re planning on drinks and dancing. You in?” Garcia chirped cheerfully.

“Like you have no idea,” I sighed, all the air leaving my body as I let myself deflate.

“Brilliant, Morgan will pick you up at eight alright?” Garcia cheered happily on her end, I could hear the hands she kept free by talking with her work headset clapping in joy.

“Sounds like a plan to me, see you at eight,” I replied before saying goodbye and letting my phone fall into my lap. A night out with everyone sounded like just what I needed, which was a strange feeling for me as I generally tended to swing towards the more solitary sedentary life.

** -xXx-**

“Girl, girl. Girl! Your shoes!” Morgan chuckled after he had finished shouting behind me. 

“What?” I called back over my shoulder as I stood by the passenger side of his car. 

“How are you even _walking_ in those things?” Morgan asked as he approached his car from the other side. 

“Very, very carefully,” I laughed as I poured myself into the front seat and closed my door. 

**-xXx-**

“Girl, I have flower vases that are shorter than those heels!” JJ exclaimed once Morgan and I made it finally to the table her, Prentiss and Garcia had claimed earlier. 

“That is the _strangest_ form of measurement comparison I have ever heard,” I chuckled as I placed myself gingerly on a stool and smiled as Morgan signaled a waitress over with one simple look. That man had skill. 

“It’s the only thing I could think of off the top of my head,” JJ laughed in response before taking a sip of her drink. I simply nodded in reply before placing my double drink order with the waitress who suddenly seemed like she didn’t want to leave our table. 

“You’re disgusting,” Prentiss teased once the waitress _finally_ left our table to place our orders. 

“Girl, don’t hate the game I’ve naturally got,” Morgan replied in a manner so smooth I was afraid of sliding off my stool. JJ and Prentiss made disgusted sounds while Garcia simply punched Morgan in the arm as the man simply laughed in response. It was nice to sit here with these people and be accepted, I could see why Spencer felt so safe and secure with these people. The oddity of who I was as a person didn’t seem to phase them in the slightest, probably a side effect of their job mixed with who they already were as people. I could probably safely bet that the rest of the people in the FBI or even in the BAU weren’t like this group. Thinking of Spencer only made my memories of earlier that morning come to mind, I got so lost in them that I had no idea I had been asked a question until someone touched my arm and I nearly jumped a mile. 

“Hmm?” I asked. 

“I was asking about your boots. Didn’t know you had a pair of those in your closet!” Garcia repeated the earlier statement I hadn’t heard. 

“Girl I may be a self inflicted hermit, but I do still love a good pair of shoes!” I offered with a wink. 

“Those aren’t shoes sugar, those are deadly weapons strapped to your feet that may or may not kill you when they’re strapped to you,” Morgan stated with a shake of his head. 

“Stilettos. The term you’re looking for is stilettos. Seven inch, needle point stilettos in fact,” Prentiss supplied with a wave of her cocktail straw. 

“Whatever they’re called I’m still pretty sure they could kill a person, either intentionally or unintentionally,” Morgan exasperated as the waitress finally made it back to our table. Seemed a round of shots had been ordered by someone as five golden brown shots were placed in front of each of us, Morgan and my beers as well along with my second shot I had originally ordered. With a smile and nod to the waitress Morgan turned back to our table and motioned for us all to pick up our shots. 

“To friends, family, safety and stability. And to once in a very long while getting a night off!” Morgan toasted with his shot raised. 

A chorus of “here here’s” followed his toast before everyone tossed back their shot, I followed mine with the one I ordered in quick succession. Collective sounds came from everyone as they took their shots, while I may be a hermit I did pride myself in my ability to drink. I followed both my shots with a sip from my beer, the perfect ice cold temperature to follow shots in a dark sweaty bar. 

“Let’s go dance!” Garcia announced excitedly once everyone had finished, pulling my arm to get me off my stool. I found myself laughing as I followed her out onto the tiny dance floor, followed by Morgan and JJ, Prentiss stayed at the table with our drinks and things. A sad face with the waving of an ankle in an obvious brace was all she needed when arguments came from the two behind us when she had opted out. 

**-xXx-**

“Morgan for fuck’s sake put me down!” I laughed as Morgan bodily lifted me out of the passenger side of his car. 

“Girl, you are drunk and you almost fell one leaving that damn place! I am not risking your neck or the wrath of my coworkers should you fall and kill yourself!” Morgan offered in response as he positioned me into a better shape. I very much felt like a small child or a rag doll and it was all very ridiculous. 

“I only _almost_ fell because my heel got stuck in the world’s tiniest crack that seemingly was deep enough to reach the center of the earth. I blame the parking lot maintenance for that _almost_ mishap!” I replied with only mostly fake annoyance. Carrying me? _Really_? 

“Sorry, the people I work with are scarier than you, my self preservation wins this round sugar,” Morgan laughed as he made it to my stoop. He set me down gently, my bare feet wiggly in the texture of my welcome mat as my shoes were currently in my hand as per Morgan’s earlier instruction when we had pulled into my place. 

“Were you expecting a delivery?” Morgan asked nonchalantly, though I could tell he was forcing it a bit. 

“No, not really,” I replied as I looked down at what he was referring to. Sitting propped up against my front door was a small brown cardboard box with a large label on the front. 

“I don’t see a shipping label on it,” Morgan supplied as I bent down to pick it up. 

“Well let’s see…” 

“Wait, don’t just pick it up! What if it’s a bomb?” Morgan shouted as he stopped my hands from grabbing the package. 

“Morgan, I’m just a normal person, who owns a coffee shop and bakery. I’m not a part of the FBI or BAU. I don’t live your life nor do I run the risks that comes with it. Besides, if you look closely you’ll see the name of the company the item was purchased at on the side. And if it were a bomb wouldn’t the person have taken care not to have the package so awkwardly placed at an angle against my door? Wouldn’t they have placed it safe and securely flat on the doorstep so as to be certain it didn’t detonate until I had picked it up? There couldn’t be a timer either because I hadn’t made advanced plans to go out tonight so there was no guaranteed timeline for me finding the package. I’m going to go with it being an ordinary box of something from- Pottery Barn,” I finished, my last words coming out softly as the company's name on the side resonated with something inside me. 

“I guess you have a point. Sure you don’t want to quit your day job?” Morgan joked, attempting to cover his earlier outburst and worry. 

“Positive,” I replied with a smile as I clutched the small box to my chest as I got my keys out of my small purse. 

“Text me when you get home safe yeah?” I asked as my front door finally opened and the dark inside of my penthouse welcomed me home. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Morgan answered as he made his way down my steps two at a time with a wave over his shoulder. 

“Thank you for tonight!” I called out with a wave as Morgan got into his car. 

I smiled and returned his last wave as he pulled away before shutting my front door and dumping my ridiculous shoes on the floor. I tossed my purse onto my couch and made my way to my kitchen with my small box in tow. Placing it on the counter I cut the tape sealing it with my fingernail before sliding the top half off. Inside was a neatly folded layer of blue tissue paper which I gently opened and folded over the sides of the box. There in the middle of a pile of crinkly cardboard packing confetti was a large purple polka dotted coffee mug. An identical match to the one Spencer had broken over a month ago. Down the the brown printed Pottery Barn logo on the bottom that he had obviously picked up on at some point in our friendship. With a smile I took the mug out of its box and placed it in my cupboard next to the one I always used, the spot its predecessor had lived in. My smile a little bit stronger I closed the cabinet, put the box in the recycling before going to go change. 

Coming out of the shower freshly clean and wearing sweats and a tank top I sat down on my couch to watch something before I went to bed. As soon as my butt hit the cushions I found myself standing again and walking back(i) into my kitchen. Flicking on the light I reached into my recycling and pulled out the empty Pottery Barn box. Tossing its insides back into the recycling I found what I had been looking for. Under all the packing material was a small rectangle, the same shape, color and weight of an FBI business card. Lifting it up I read the words scrawled across the back in a messy chicken scratch that could only belong to one person. 

**_“I’m sorry.”_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all of this crazy lapsed time between updates guys.  
> Life for me got pretty crazy.  
> Like bad crazy.  
> Upheaval style.  
> I busted my hand and was out of the writing game for a while, because it's kind of impossible and infuriating to type/write with only one freaking hand! And rather then get pissed at my writing and never come back to it I stepped away to heal.
> 
> But here we go again!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I have one of these too. . .  
> I LOVE me some Dr. Spencer Reid. . .


End file.
